Australian Government issues travel warning for Etihad Stadium on Sunday

Latest advice, 20 July 2016

This advice has been reissued with minor amendments. The level of the travel advice has not changed. We continue to strongly advise you not to travel to Etihad Stadium this Sunday.


• We strongly advise you not to travel to Etihad Stadium due to an AFL game between Essendon and Brisbane this Sunday.

• If you’re in Etihad Stadium, we strongly advise you to depart by commercial means if it is safe to do so. There are limited commercial options available.

• Neutral fans are encouraged to avoid the precinct and not even watch it on TV.

• Fans of Essendon and Brisbane intending to go are advised not to and to reconsider their life choices.

• Despite the fact about four people are going, expect long queues for tickets and entry. This is Etihad Stadium after all.

• Turnovers, inaccurate shots at goal, dropped marks, missed tackles and a lack of ‘pressure efforts’ are all forecast.

• The surface at the stadium is extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

• If, despite this advice, you choose to travel to Etihad Stadium, you should have a book or an iPad to keep yourself entertained.

• Due to the nature of Etihad Stadium, food and drink prices have been inflated like it’s located in the Weimar Republic.

• Given the boring game and terrible skills expected, we strongly recommend that you register your travel and contact details with us, so we can contact your family if you fall into a coma while watching it.

• Australia does not have an Embassy or Consulate in Etihad Stadium. Given the awfulness of this game, the Australian Government’s capacity to deliver consular assistance in Etihad Stadium is extremely limited. We will not send our people in there. You are on your own.

Titus O’Reily is doing a live show 2nd September at Yarraville Laughs. Tickets on sale now at


  1. sheppo

    I just watched 13 hours (I already knew the back story how Hillary hung those lads out to dry and has tried ever since to cover it up), and if anyone deems it necessary to attend said game, no ex-special forces or tac-operators should be risked if extraction is required. 😛

  2. MacHawk

    Final travel warning : Contrary to rumors, the presence of Zika virus within Etihad stadium does not endanger the fetuses of pregnant males.

  3. Billious

    The food and beverage at Etihad is well priced and all comments made by Titus unfair to the extreme.  Buy some donuts and coffee next time Titus my shout if you will.

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