Recent revelations of match fixing and Maria Sharapova’s positive drug test have shaken sport fan Janice Dixon’s complete disinterest in tennis.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve cared about tennis but lately I’ve found myself actually reading articles about it,” said the 64-year-old accountant from Sydney.
“This whole thing about it being fixed is fascinating and I even watched a handful of games just to see if I can spot the moment a game is thrown. I couldn’t though, although Bernard Tomic seemed to do it lot but I’m told that’s just how he plays.”
Ms Dixon said Maria Sharapova’s announcement that she received a positive drug test at the Australian Open had got her to pay attention to tennis for the second time in months.
“At first I was surprised to learn Maria was a tennis player, I thought she was one of those Kardashian people. You know, famous for being famous.”
“Her excuse was hilarious and now I wonder who’s next to announce a positive test and what nonsense will they spin?
“We at least know it won’t be an Australian. They’re all taking something but definitely nothing performance enhancing.”
Ms Dixon said she even plans to watch more tennis this year, mainly to see what stupid thing Nick Kyrgios does next.
“Tennis is as boring as watching the grass its played on grow but at least I know a few player’s names now.”
COMMENTS
GBO26
Mar 08, 2016
TitusOReily I'd have thought that a 64 year old woman would be one of the few who was actually interested in tennis. #boring
andermc59
Mar 08, 2016
TitusOReily I thought Meldonium was the country that the Princess Bride was set in
Bonjour_Pippy
Mar 08, 2016
TitusOReily I've heard everything now Ha!
Hugo Von Winterhalter
Mar 08, 2016
I'm fascinated with women's tennis. Does anyone know who she is dressed by?
Horrie Chunter. Real bloke.
Mar 08, 2016
How about a bit of respect on International Women's Day Titus. Maybe a story on soft furnishings?
Simon Gray
Mar 08, 2016
I'd take drugs too if I had to play women's tennis. Boring.
Thushira Gammune
Mar 08, 2016
Andrew Macdonald read the ending about Australian players
David Hoysted
Mar 08, 2016
My disinterest is unshaken.
Geoff Schaefer
Mar 08, 2016
I accept that it's crass, but the only time I am ever likely to watch women's tennis is if they insert a 'clothing optional' clause in the dress code...
Hugo Von Winterhalter
Mar 08, 2016
She should be stripped. And I'm happy to volunteer to do it.
Chiara Laura Lanzon
Mar 08, 2016
Your terrible Titus....
Scott Meckiff
Mar 08, 2016
I thought she cheated by grunting , but it is obviously a side affect from her medication.
Simon Chewie Adams
Mar 08, 2016
I might be able to watch the women's tennis with the sound up now.
Clayton Kennedy
Mar 08, 2016
Yr funny Scott Meckiff
Wayne Ogston
Mar 08, 2016
She is human and I would not knock her back. Lol
Declan Lindsay
Mar 08, 2016
Lachlan good one
Chiara Laura Lanzon
Mar 09, 2016
Sos Brady thanks but I think Muriel would have spelt it that way...
gingerappleby
Mar 10, 2016
Those Aussies aren't on anything performance enhancing, but I'm pretty sure it will cure cancer.
Just on Maria though, I still wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting.