Dear Socceroos

Congratulations on winning the Asian Cup last night and especially getting me out of watching the tennis.

Your victory proves once and for all that Australia is the best continent not in Asia, to have ever won the Asian Cup.

What I’m writing to you about, are restaurants that have menus designed for sharing.

You know, all those shared plates like tapas etc.

In my experience, people all order things they want and say ‘we’ll then all share.’

Then they order ‘tofu in a mushroom broth’ or some sort of ‘vegetable’ dish.

Basically anything ‘interesting’ on the menu to prove they are some sort of god-awful ‘foodie.’

I’ll then order some sort of fried meat, basically the least healthy thing on the menu. Some sort of batter may be involved.

Of course, when the food arrives, the ‘sharing’ involves everyone eating my fried meat and I get left with a bunch of stuff I would never have ordered.

These same people then say ‘that fried meat was really good!’ like it’s some sort of revelation that fried meat is amazing.

Isn’t that both the worst and un-Australian?

Keen on your thoughts.

Regards

Titus O’Reily