Despite ‘Becks’ ruling out playing in the A-League, new FFA boss David Gallop decided to make one last phone call to try and change his mind.

David Gallop: Hi, is that David?

David Beckham: Yes. Who is this?

Gallop: It’s David Gallop from the A-League.

Beckham: Do I know you? Victoria says I shouldn’t talk to strangers on the phone anymore.

Gallop: It’s ok David, we’ve spoken before, it’s David Gallop. I’m the head of the Football Federation Australia.

Beckham: Oh right. You’ve got the same name as me.

Gallop: Yeah, that’s true.

Beckham: Our first names I mean. Not our second names. We have different surnames.

Gallop: Ahhh…sure.

Beckham: We’re not related are we?

Gallop: No. Seriously? I’m ringing you to see if I can convince you to come play in Australia next year. The A-League is a great competition and your presence here would be a huge boost for the sport.

Beckham: I’m still a bit spun out about us having the same first name. What are the odds?

Gallop: It’s quite a common name.

Beckham: Does the ‘A’ in A-League stand for Australia?

Gallop: Yeah David. Like the J-League in Japan or the K-League in Korea.

Beckham: Hey you’re right! They all have the first letter of the country’s name. Don’t you think that’s amazing?

Gallop: You’ve never noticed that before?

Beckham: Letters aren’t really my thing. I’m really good at football though.

Gallop: Well that’s why we’ve love to have you come play in Australia.

Beckham: I think Victoria….I mean, I’ve, already said no to this.

Gallop: I know but we are really keen to try and convince you. The A-League is really growing here and Australia’s a great place to raise a family.

Beckham: What team would I play for?

Gallop: Well personally, I don’t mind but I know the Melbourne Heart is pretty keen to sign you.

Beckham: Are they a big team?

Gallop: Yeah! They’re the second biggest team in Melbourne.

Beckham: Wow.

Gallop: Yeah. I think they’ve almost got one hundred members. Almost ten per cent of Victorians are aware they exist.

Beckham: Well that’s better than the MLS over here.

Gallop: Do you like LA?

Beckham: It’s ok. We’ve got our own house and I’ve got heaps of channels on my TV. Nobody knows who I am though and Victoria says we have to hang out with Tom Cruise all the time.

Gallop: You don’t like that?

Beckham: Not really. He talks about aliens all the time and makes us all hold these paddles that measure the electromagnetic field of your brain. Whenever I do it they get no reaction and they have to check to see if the machine works.

Gallop: Right.

Beckham: Yeah. Dinner over there is weird. When Katie used to live with Tom she used to mouth, ‘Help me!’ across the dinner table. At first, I thought she just wanted me to pass her the salt but later on I worked out she wasn’t happy.

Gallop: I feel we’re getting off topic.

Beckham: I know. But it’s totally weird right? I mean aliens aren’t real are they?

Gallop: I don’t know David.

Beckham: You mean they might be? Imagine if Tom is right? We’re all in trouble then. One night I watched that movie the Battle: Los Angeles and I thought it was a documentary. Our maid pointed out the many of the people in it were actors, though.

Gallop: Well David, why don’t we get back to the A-League. Have you got any interest?

Beckham: Well over here I get paid a lot and I have a lot of side deals to make sure we get around the salary cap.

Gallop: Really?

Beckham: Yeah. The club just runs two sets of books. You wouldn’t have a problem with that would you?

Gallop: No David. I wouldn’t at all. I’ve already had some experience with that. I’ll get a guy named Brian to give you a call to talk you through it.

Beckham: I’d better go, Victoria just got home and she hasn’t eaten for four days.