Well what an honour this is.

Not since I won a free cheeseburger as part of a McDonald’s Monopoly competition, have I won an award that matches the prestige of the Allan Border Medal.

Can I firstly say, the journey to get here has been difficult and had its fair share of heartache.

To begin, there was Mark Taylor’s speech to sit through, then Greg Chappell’s, not to mention Mark Nicholas' awkward and occasionally insulting interviewing.

It’s been painful and at times I've just wanted it to be over.

If anything would make you quit cricket, it’s this event.

No wonder it isn't shown live. I’m here and I've been watching the tennis on my phone the whole time. Actually, does anyone has a charger?

It also seems weird that it’s being held in a venue a Year 10 dinner dance committee would have rejected.

The good news is that with this award, it’s now almost over but not before I thank a few people.

To begin, I’d like to thank the English Cricket Team.

Never has the term ‘English Cricket Team’ been such false advertising.

You’re not a team, can barely play cricket and many of you aren't English.

I’d also like to thank the Barmy Army for their constant motivation. Where’s your singing now?

Enjoy returning to your dank little island.

To Mickey Arthur, I’d like to say thank you for getting yourself sacked. Nothing helped the team more than this.

Lastly, I’d like to thank Kevin Pietersen. Your constant backing away showed that we had you guys done and dusted. Enjoy retirement mate.

Winning this award is a memory that will stay with me for minutes. I’m truly touched.

Now how do we all get out of here?