The Australian Cricket Team has apologised for getting caught cheating at Newlands and vowed to get better at it.
In a packed media conference, Steve Smith said the team had overlooked the 30 broadcast cameras at the ground and the fact yellow tape doesn’t blend in against white uniforms.
“This was obviously our first attempt at cheating,” said Smith winking for some reason, “but we’re committed to it and we will get better.”
Cameron Bancroft, who tampered with the ball, said the incident had delivered some key learnings that would be taken on board.
“Obviously, we couldn’t foresee that our every movement would be filmed and watched by an audience of millions, so we’ll take that on board.
“And while yellow wasn’t the best choice, originally, we were going to go with hot pink, so I think we’re at least on the right path.
“Getting caught is probably our biggest takeaway. Cheating works best when you don’t get caught.”
Smith said that probably the most disappointing thing about their plan was that it didn’t really work.
“The aim of cheating is to make winning easier, so cheating and still getting smashed is kind of amazing.”
“It’s a work in progress though, so we’ll get there.”
When asked if putting more effort into getting better at cricket was a feasible alternative to cheating, Smith blinked for five minutes saying nothing before a media adviser ended the conference.
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