Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday Tuesday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You've come to the right place.

Brisbane (63) v Richmond (106)

Richmond needed this. You can’t rely on Carlton losing every week to hide how badly you’re playing.

Luckily, even the Tigers can get a win against the Lions.

That said, Richmond looked bad for a lot of the game. The two Tigers supporters who made the trip north apparently drank four bars dry, during half time.

As for Brisbane, they are in 'a world of pain' to coin a phrase.

Even in Jonathan Brown's 250th game they couldn't stick with Richmond in the second half. This is probably due to them being a really bad football team.

All that's left for this season, is working out which player from their Premiership era will coach next. I’ve got my money on Jonathan Brown.

Collingwood (93) v North Melbourne (58)

Collingwood are the real deal. I've stuck by Travis Cloke since Saturday and will continue to do so until he plays poorly. That's the level of belief I've got on him.

As for North, they are done. The Brad Scott era is a wash and they need to sack every player and start from scratch.

The good news for North is Mick Malthouse will be free at the end of the season. There’s an appealing thought.

Sydney (92) v Fremantle (75)

Sydney are genuine Premiership contenders. All those people who forgot that they often start badly, need to hang their heads in shame. I've said this all along.

Not so much in words but quietly in my thoughts. That counts right?

As for Buddy, what a superstar. It baffles me why people make fun of him just because it's really easy.

Fremantle are in trouble. Not only do they have problems on the field, they have problems off the field.

So much so that Ross Lyon has coined the phrase 'Colin Sylvia Basket'. It's sort of like the 'naughty corner' but for AFL footballers.

What an honour for Sylvia to have it named after him. He has certainly worked hard to earn it.

Possibly the first thing he's worked hard at.

West Coast (56) v Port Adelaide (70)

Ken Hinkley is the greatest living person. The fact so many teams overlooked him just shows the quality of people running AFL clubs.

No wonder we need a kindergarten-like equalisation policy. It’s to say poor administrators from themselves.

The Eagles midfield is so bad it's like putting a SMART car engine in a reasonably priced Commodore.

As a result the Eagles just look to be the best of the bad teams.

Essendon (65) v St Kilda (81)

Poor old Essendon. It used to take until about round twelve the wings to come off.

Luckily, Essendon fans won’t be stuck with Mark Thompson forever.

The return of James Hird should sort this all out. He’s always been such a stabilising influence for the club.

Alan Richardson is a modern day Ken Hinkley.

That said, Alan must have posters in his bedroom of Nick Riewoldt and must pray to them every night that he stays fit.

With this win, the Saints are up and about and finishing as high as twelfth is very much on the cards.

Adelaide (137) v Greater Western Sydney (72)

What to make of Adelaide? Are they good? No. They've beaten St Kilda and the Giants. That’s it.

The fact Adelaide keep drawing crowds is amazing. They must be putting something in the terrible Adelaide water. Maybe wine?

The Giants however, made them look amazing.

This was a terrible performance by GWS. I watched almost all of it and I would like that time back. I waste enough of my life watching Melbourne underperform and visiting family.

Melbourne (78) v Gold Coast (86)

A return to form of sorts for Melbourne. The scoreboard flattered them, with the Gold Coast dominating all day.

Both sides seemed to be going out of their way to lose this game. This match must have set a record for missed opportunities. The kids playing at half time had a far higher accuracy when kicking for goal.

Western Bulldogs (91) v Carlton (119)

Well who knew? Carlton can win games. Probably a good thing. We all needed a week break to come up with some new Carlton jokes. The internet had really exhausted them.

Unfortunately, Chris Judd injured himself after just six minutes on the field. With the awesome benefit of hindsight, it was a reckless move by Malthouse to play him and he should resign over such a bad decision.

As for the Bulldogs, this was a terrible result. Carlton lost to Melbourne. Melbourne!

You’d want to see some development out of the Bulldogs fairly soon or their member will hand back the membership.

Geelong (106) v Hawthorn (87)

The Kennett curse is not a thing.

Geelong being slightly better than Hawthorn over the long haul is a thing. A very big thing.

It appears the AFL’s efforts so far at equalisation has extended to making the Hawks and Cats equal, then a fair drop off to the rest of the competition.

Thankfully this was a very good game, a rare occurrence this season.

Of course, this loss shows the Hawks can’t win this year’s Premiership, something I’ve said all along (there’s no need for you to check previous columns to see if this is true).

As for Geelong, this win means they've pretty much won the Premiership. We can call that this early.

That wouldn't be stupid at all.