Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.
On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.
What you really want is idiotic hysteria.
You've come to the right place.
Friday
Melbourne (71) v Carlton (73)
When I was a young boy, I often spent the holidays at my uncle’s farm.
It was a proper working farm, with lots of dairy cows, rolling hills, big machines, and the longest barn I have ever seen in my life. This thing was huge, almost 300 metres long.
You couldn’t miss it.
Unless of course, you play for the Melbourne Football Club.
When Melbourne weren’t missing shots in spectacular fashion, they were ill-disciplined, giving away pointless fifty-metre penalties or blocking their own goals.
Carlton to their credit did none of these things.
They booted 11.7 while the Demons posted 9.17, and when it really mattered the Blues kept their cool, with Blake Acres kicking the winner for Carlton, with just 56 seconds left on the clock.
You’d be hard-pressed to find a team that has choked harder in a finals series than the Demons of 2023.
They should have won in Week One, and they should have won here. Even Greg Norman was shocked at how much they screwed up.
Blues fans though can be thrilled, their team soaked up all the pressure, and while there was luck, there was also nerve. In finals, you need things to go your way, but you must also take your opportunities.
Carlton did this superbly. They made things hard all night for the Dees, and when the moment came, they attacked.
Who knows how they will do against Brisbane, but as Jyn Erso once famously said in the documentary Rogue One, “If we can make it to the ground, we'll take the next chance. And the next. On and on until we win... or the chances are spent.”
Carlton are making sure they spend all their chances, and that has already taken them far.
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Saturday
Port Adelaide (70) v Greater Western Sydney (93)
First things first, I find the term ‘Orange Tsunami’ offensive.
It reminds me of the time my cousin died in that terrible accident at the Fanta factory.
There is no denying, though that the Giants are on. They looked the best of all the teams on the weekend, which wasn’t that hard, but they looked a lot, lot better.
As a Dees fan, I look at players like Jesse Hogan and Toby Bedford and wish we had players like that.
Adam Kingsley must be wondering why people make out this coaching thing is so hard.
Port Adelaide certainly make knockout finals look hard. This is the fifth time they have lost one since 2014.
Port fans have seen this movie before, and they didn’t like the ending the first four times.
Ken Hinkley said after the game, 'We were handed a valuable lesson', but how many times can you be given the same lesson before you learn?
If you ask my year ten German teacher, the answer is 47. Even then, the only thing I learned was the name of the textbook, Deutsch Heute.
There are a lot of positives for the future at Port Adelaide, but in recent times, it feels that the future never comes.
Success is always coming but never arrives.
It certainly doesn’t help that Kingsley has come in and appeared to turn things around in less than a season.
To be fair, the Giants always had a lot of talent on their list; they just stuck with Leon Cameron for too long.
The question is, have the Power stuck with Hinkley for too long?
Ask a Power supporter and they say yes; ask the Port Adelaide Board and they say, ‘Here’s two more years Ken’.
You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. Find out more here: https://titusoreily.com/support-titus
This week’s Sports Bizarre episode is The America’s Cup: Part Four, available wherever you get your podcasts.
COMMENTS
WENDY
Sep 18, 2023
Many thanks, Titus, for the laughs, the wry smiles and the ouch!-es
David Bland
Sep 18, 2023
If the Dees had kicked 9:20, instead of 9:17, they would have won.
In the end, they couldn't even do that!
Barn Builder
Sep 18, 2023
Damn near pissed myself!
When I was a young boy, I often spent the holidays at my uncle’s farm.
It was a proper working farm, with lots of dairy cows, rolling hills, big machines, and the longest barn I have ever seen in my life. This thing was huge, almost 300 metres long.
You couldn’t miss it.
Unless of course, you play for the Melbourne Football Club.
Tim Smith
Sep 18, 2023
'You’d be hard-pressed to find a team that has choked harder in a finals series than the Demons of 2023'. Port fan here-I thought the sentence would finish with 'the Power every time we play finals'....
David
Sep 18, 2023
Hi David B.
Still a Dee’s supporter I see.
Cheers
David V.
Blue and Still Grinning
Sep 18, 2023
Blake Acres's last minute goal was only a winner because of big Max knocking the last Dees goal into the post ..... that was the difference between a 3 point win and a 2 point loss for the Dees. Thanks Max, the cheques in the post!
Mick
Sep 18, 2023
Siebenundvierzig - year 10 German was the worst. I should have taken AFL History instead..
Gina Hartskeerl
Sep 18, 2023
Love reading your posts & seeing you on the Front Bar.
I met you at a Melbourne luncheon at the MCG and you were kind enough to pose for a photo with me.
I am 73 & have followed, supported & barracked for the M.F.C most of my life along with my husband our children & grandchildren.
One day hopefully we will see a Grand final win at The M.C.G.
Thank you
Gina Hartskeerl.
Darren B
Sep 18, 2023
As a Blues supporter I looked forward to this today with some relish. But I feel dirty now, after you were so gracious to my Blues Titus.
David Dusting
Sep 18, 2023
This was a staggering loss by the Dees. In the last quarter, all they had to do was kick 2 goals 9 points or even just 1 goal 15 points and they would got home.
Alan Wellington
Sep 18, 2023
Have pity on me I am a member of Port and I follow Melbourne as well. Any one got directions to the Gap.
Lisa B
Sep 18, 2023
Weiters - Hollands - Doc - Acres …. I’ve watched it about 5643 times 🤣🤣🤣
And two of those blokes had maybe 1 good shoulder between them! Courageous effort Bluebaggers!
Terry Lockwood
Sep 18, 2023
That butterfly wings can affect events that took place hours before has always been true. That 3 votes is always given to the best player on the winning team for their efforts over 100 minutes of football. But a ball touching fingers or timber in the last few seconds could be the determining facto between 3 votes and 2. Jack Dyer would have nothing but positives for the winners and negatives for the losers when a rushed behind in the dying seconds caused a one point lead. Sack Goodwin or Praise the Lord. All because of a dumb act by a ruckman. Sack Northy or Praise the Lord. All because of a dumb act by a ruckman.
The g train
Sep 18, 2023
Good stuff, Titus. Under very difficult circumstances.
But this was an extreme overreach, even for you: “Even Greg Norman was shocked at how much they screwed up”.
“Success is always coming, but never arrives”. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” I am a StK supporter. And I am courageous. And loyal Port supporters will now, too, find courage. For they must.
Ps Jessie H’s late career renaissance is remarkable. Perhaps now adopting the same lifestyle as his coach?
Bloke from the outer
Sep 18, 2023
Bad luck Dees but thanks. The season is now all set for a vegas v giants GF; true footy supporters can finally see the grannie because tickets will be available. Plus the added bonus of seeing the tears of the blues and woods supporters.
Bloke from the outer
Sep 18, 2023
Oh and surely that was an attempted smother by Kysaiah.
John
Sep 18, 2023
We are sick of being taught valuable lessons, but cricket why don't we LEARN THEM. Good luck to the Blues we have gifted you a chance, use it
GM
Sep 18, 2023
Damn Carlton, couldn’t get a Pepperoni Pizza or a Latte in Lygon St until 1:26am Saturday.
Loving life!! Go Blues!😳
Out on the full
Sep 18, 2023
One can only smile quietly to oneself in the knowledge that the AFL must be in a state of groingrabbing panic at the possibiĺity of a GWS-BL Grand Final.
When teams that are only supposed to be spots on the map actually steal the rich clubs' thunder......
Ruth R
Sep 18, 2023
Funny because it’s so true! As a Pies supporter I’m very aware that Melbourne coulda/shoulda/woulda won that first final against us. Except they didn’t. And now they’re out in straight sets again.
Fat Side
Sep 18, 2023
She's my little Deutsch Heute, you don't know what I got.
Con Cushion
Sep 18, 2023
Turn it up Titus ... since when have we cared about the choking qualities of an American like Greg Norman. Although Kozzy could have used his sand wedge out there on Friday! Con.
Gareth Bevan
Sep 18, 2023
Titus, orange you glad you never worked at the Fanta Factory?
Go Orange Team!
Bomber Bill
Sep 18, 2023
Perhaps Port Adelaide collectively read 'Waiting to Godot' over the summer. Watching Oppenheimer didn't work.
They could take solace from the final lines of the play and perhaps see themselves there within...
"Vladimir: Well, shall we go?
Estragon: Yes, let's go.
(They do not move)."
MJ
Sep 18, 2023
Rogue One is my favourite documentary.
MJ
Sep 18, 2023
Rogue One is my favourite documentary.
Son of plugger
Sep 18, 2023
O, Bomber Bill.
That’s brilliant. Genius even.
Richard Mitchell
Sep 18, 2023
With all due respect to the late great Jim Stynes, Max almost topped the Gary Buckenara Preliminary Final infringement moment and made the spoil into post stopping a certain goal for the Dees.
It’s certainly up there on the “Whoopsies” board for the Dees.
Maybe an omen…a sign for the Blues
(1987 Premiership)
Carn the Blues!!!
Who Flung Dung
Sep 18, 2023
Oppenheimer was three hours of boredom and Port Adelaide played three hours of boring footy. Why the hell would any club adopt this movie and worse make it public.
The only similarity one worked the other bombed out.
Football club boards are moronic at times why do an arrangement to announce a coaches contract in August before the real test starts.
There's a 44% chance of making finals but only 13% chance of becoming premiers or 25% runners up. Judge a coach on the final result before offering an extension. They locked into a two year extension because they were forced to do so because of board incompetence.
Melbourne also need to address their coach two years out in straight sets when they are arguably the best team in the competition falls on the coaches head fair and square.
A Brisbane v GWS grand final in lieu or a Carlton v Collingwood final would be social justice for the woke AFL and send Gill out on a platter.
Persia
Sep 19, 2023
Melbourne were ahead and had possession with less than a minute to go. How hard is it to play keepings-off for 56 seconds?
David Warden
Sep 19, 2023
"As a Dees fan, I look at players like Jesse Hogan and Toby Bedford and wish we had players like that."
LOL, that is hilarious. Love your work Titus and your podcast is awsome 👏
The Moz
Sep 19, 2023
If you think the Dees can't kick straight, I picked Rushed in my fantasy team at full forward.
Cobra Kai
Sep 21, 2023
Deutsch Heute! LOL. A real book and I remember it well. Gold.
David Shields
Sep 21, 2023
As my Dees supporting mate texted while leaving the G on Friday;
“We did it our way.”