In a stunning and surprising move, Stephen Dank has produced unequivocal evidence that clears Essendon and every single player involved in the supplements scandal.

“I really should have done this years ago but I’ve been pretty busy not doing anything,” said the former sport scientist.

“It’s not like delaying the release of these documents has hurt anybody and I’ve enjoyed the attention actually.”

AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan said the release of the evidence was ‘super awkward’ for the AFL, ASADA and the media.

“We should have just taken Stephen at face value from the moment he said he had proof. Shame on us for wanting to see some actual evidence.”

“Sometimes having faith is better than having proof. This is the brightest day in Australian sport.”

Essendon chairman Paul Little said the records proved this was all a ‘crazy misunderstanding.’

“You have to laugh. This all could have been sorted out two years ago if Stephen had come forward then.”

“For reasons unknown, he didn’t but we can all have a good laugh about it now. What a madcap adventure!”

A spokesperson for the 34 players involved said they were glad this was all finally cleared up.

“The downside for a few of the players is they will now have to go to Morwell.”

James Hird released a brief statement saying he would be suing Stephen Dank.