One of the fun things about running a fairly low rating and highly disappointing blog, is the questions that come in.

There’s nothing I like more than sitting down with a couple of bottles of whiskey and answering a series of often bizarre questions.

If you want to submit one you can do so here.

Adelaide Crows Wearing the South Australian Jumper

Is the Adelaide Crows wearing the South Australian jumper the biggest thing to happen in the history of South Australia? – Joel

I know you just want me to say yes to belittle my dear friends in South Australia.

Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

That’s what happens when you found a state without convicts.

The Adelaide Crows knew exactly what they were doing when they choose that design. Have a look at how much Nigel Smart is smirking above.

South Australia has form in this regard. Remember when Port Adelaide said they were going to wear Collingwood’s jumper? At least that’s the way Eddie tells me it happened when he’s had a few.

AFL 360

Is there a cuter couple than Mark Robinson and Gerard Whateley in Australian journalism? – James

Bruce and Dennis? Probably a bit creepy. I can’t think of anyone else.

Gerard and Mark have a chemistry you can’t manufacture, just ask the hosts of any Channel Ten breakfast show ever.

It’s the way Robbo always looks at Gerard like he’s desperate to understand but just can’t get there or Gerard finding himself laughing at Robbo’s antics and hating himself for doing so.

AFL

Dear Titus,

Who will lose the next AFL Grand Final out of Melbourne and St Kilda? -A_OKeefe

This is surely a trick question right? Either that or it’s intended to make me remember that Melbourne haven’t won a Grand Final since 1964 and send me into a deep depression.

If that was your plan O'Keefe, job done.

When did Good Friday last fall on Easter Monday? – Adrian

I’ll admit Adrian, this sent me off Googling for several days before I realised it’s not possible. Kudos to you.

I sense what you’re really asking though is, why won’t the AFL allow games on Good Friday?

It’s a good question. After all, AFL fans don’t mind church being held on Sundays when the football is on. They just choose not to go.

The most important reason the AFL needs to be on Good Friday is to prevent us having to spend all that time with friends or family.

Currently, I don’t see what’s so ‘good’ about it.

Andrew Demetriou will be forced to relinquish his position at the head of the table this year. What will be the reason given for his departure? And what will be the real reason he is forced to step aside? - Daniel

While I don’t know if this will actually occur, the most likely reason is ‘wanting to spend more time with his family.’

This of course is never true.

Anyone with a family knows you want to minimse time with them. That’s why we have jobs, sport and television.

The real reason he will step aside is that the AFL Commission are wanting someone who still has an interest in football and doesn’t head off overseas while the competition struggles to deal with a major crisis. They’re weird like that.

Cricket

Subject: I need a cuddle

If I did more Brut commercials do you think the public and my team mates would like me more? – Shane Watson

Is this really Shane Watson? The fact this question came from a completely different email address (with a different name) makes me wonder. However, let’s plough ahead as if it is.

Shane, where do I start? Brut ads probably are not the answer, in fact they’re never the answer.

The public will probably like you if you start scoring some runs and not challenge things when they’re clearly out.

As for your teammates, this is a lost cause but who cares right? It’s not like anyone recently got kicked out of a national team just because they didn't get along with anyone.

Winter Olympics

If a bag of spuds is a realistic chance to finish on the podium, is it a legitimate sport? – Matho

This is an excellent question. I can only assume this is a reference to Figure Skating Pairs. The answer is, of course.

It’s true there are several poorer countries that use bags of potatoes as partners and while unorthodox, they are not out of medal contention at this stage.

Unfortunately for Australia, we've entered several pairs where both participants are a sack of potatoes.

Apparently, watching two sacks of potatoes lying on the centre ice with music playing and spotlights buzzing around them doesn't score well. Low fives at best.

Sport and Society

What social benefits does sport culture offer society in the world today?

AND

Do these justify the harm sport culture does in modern society? – Campbell

Campbell, these are very odd questions that left me feeling uneasy. Like, you may be a serial killer, uneasy.

Sport is society. Don’t ask what sport can do for society, ask what society can do for sport. Sport lifts us up and pulls us down. It brings us together and separates us.

Mainly, it prevents me having to chat to people about boring things they ‘care’ about. That is the social benefit of sport.

As for the harm it causes? What harm? My mate Daryl ended up with a dodgy knee but he was hardly the most agile bloke to begin with, so no big loss.

Sport doesn't cause any harm ever. It’s the greatest thing that has ever existed.

If you want a question answered you can submit it here.