Part two of my sketches from inside the Essendon Federal Court Case.

You can read part one here if you missed it.

James Hird takes the stand

I’m really looking forward to this, especially James running up and hugging someone in the gallery when he makes a good point.

Things start off awkwardly with Justice Middleton asking Hird for an autograph.

Dr Sue McNichol acting for ASADA begins to question Hird.

James’ French accent is barely noticeable.

McNichol asks about statements Hird has previously made. Surprisingly, James seems to blame everyone else for things he said or didn’t say. That’s not like him.

James Hird is now answering each question by singing the Bombers' theme song.

Justice Middleton is allowing it and is gently tapping his gavel in time.

Hird now says he arrived at the Essendon media conference where they self-reported with no idea of what David Evans was going to say.

“Like everyone at the ‘Blackest Day’ media conference then!” I yell out helpfully.

Justice Middleton is about to eject me, but then remembers I was the only one to laugh at his joke at the start of the case, so he allows me to stay.

James says he only accepted AFL sanctions under great threats, duress and 'a wonderful family holiday in France.'

ASADA then surprise Hird by pointing out that James' long lost twin brother 'Esteban Hird' is in the gallery.

"I thought you were dead!" says Hird.

“That’s what I wanted you to think!” says Esteban.

He looks exactly like James but has a thin moustache and a monocle.

“I’ve come to take Tania away with me,” says Esteban.

“We settled this,” Tania says, gently laying a hand on Esteban’s forearm, “I love James, we just weren’t meant to be.”

Ally McBeal was right!

Esteban is made to leave by Middleton. “Should have laughed at his joke,” I murmur as Esteban passes.

Hird's legal team then asks him questions. They seem to be fans. I bet they all own ‘Stand by Hird’ T-shirts.

James does really well with his own lawyers asking him questions. It’s like he knows what questions they’re going to ask.

Hird is finishes in the box. He kicks a few souvenir footies into the gallery before heading to the showers.

It’s lunch in the Federal Court. Justice Middleton encourages everyone to go on social media to see how the case is going.

Aurora Andruska's turn

Aurora Andruska is almost ready to take the stand.

Jake King has wandered into the gallery and sculls a beer to a loud cheer. "I was just next door dealing with another case," he says.

You can tell by the look on Justice Middleton's face that he's wishing he went into medicine like his mother wanted.

Middleton is asking the assembled legal teams if they think he should start a food and wine blog. "Do you think people would read it?"

There is a general consensus that people would, but only if he can find a ‘point of difference’ to all the other food blogs out there.

“That won’t be easy,” says Hird’s lawyer. ASADA agree. It’s the first bit of common ground.

I look over at David Grace, who is representing the 34 players. Apart from the opening statement he’s had to do nothing so far.

He looks like someone who can't believe he's actually getting paid for this.

Aurora says she’s just giving interim answers today. Final answers could be several years away, she informs the court.

Her testimony is not exactly filling me with confidence.

She can’t recall much and when she does she seems to not be across the detail.

Aurora admits she was unaware of things going on in the investigation. "I guess just like James with all the supplements stuff."

It constantly surprises me how senior people can know so little about their organisations. I suppose if you’re getting a massive pay check you are busy deciding where to spend it.

So far, Essendon's lawyers have managed to establish Aurora Andruska was behind the Kennedy assassination and also the fake moon landing.

They’re now asking Aurora Andruska if she's ever been to Area 51. She says she doesn’t recall.

Justice Middleton warns Aurora that her testimony is not going down well on the Big Footy forums and even worse on Bomberblitz.

People are now openly drinking in the court. Justice Middleton offers Andruska his hip flask. She drains it. He's not happy.

Middleton allows Andruska a five-minute break as she’s obviously struggling. He asks to hold on to her passport though ‘just in case.’

During the break, Paul Little shows me that he's up to level 41 in Farmville. "I only started yesterday! I'm a little bit obsessed."

I tell him you can get more rewards if he connects it to his Facebook account.

We spend the next hour setting up a Facebook profile for him and miss a large chunk of the next session.

Disappointingly, Paul doesn’t accept my friendship request just an hour later.

I reenter the court and the lawyers are now just openly surfing real estate sites for beach houses in Portsea.

As each hour ticks by, they up the dollar value of their searches.

Aurora is now saying she ignored any political pressure to finish the investigation quickly.

I'm inclined to believe her. The ASADA investigation never felt rushed. It didn’t even have a sense of momentum. Under her watch, it seemed to move at tortoise speed.

A dead tortoise or at least, very elderly tortoise.

The lawyers are now focusing on 'Deloitte.' I assume that's someone James met in France.

We are getting to the end of day two and Justice Middleton admits he is currently considering putting every single person involved in this in jail.

Closing Arguments

It’s been a long few days, but luckily today we get hours of dry legal arguments.

A lot of my legal knowledge comes from Legal Studies in Year Ten and episodes of The Bill, which explains why I understand so very little of the last day.

Essendon's lawyer starts off and incorporates 'interpretive dance' into his closing argument.

He keeps doing a weird star jump type motion, but you totally know it refers to Aurora’s testimony. It’s pretty devastating.

The dance is quite brilliant and ASADA again look worried.

Justice Middleton seems to be on neither side however, and is only interested in facts and the law.

He does not get this case at all.

A surprise new visitor arrives in the gallery; it’s Geelong's Joel Selwood. He ducks his head to the Judge as he enters. Ryan Crowley enters right behind him.

There is a lot of talk now about certain sections of the ASADA Act.

These lawyers are still obsessed with legislation. It's all they care about.

There is very little mention of Hird's stats or Brownlow medal. I can’t believe Hird’s legal team haven’t played a video of his highlights.

James should get new lawyers I reckon, the guy who got Viney off seems pretty good.

We’re now wrapping up and finally, the court adjourned!

Justice Middleton wants to get away from these footballing people and their crazy antics.

It’s been a strange three days. To think, the whole world’s eyes have been on this tiny courtroom in Melbourne.

Not since the moon landing has an event captured the world’s attention like this.

Justice Middleton says he’ll reserve his judgment, which I think is a bit poor. Make a snap judgment and go with your gut.

Instead, Middleton will take about a month to decide.

He encourages people to wildly speculate in the interim. I’m confident they will.

I'm not a lawyer and I slept through large parts of this case, some of them very important bits, but personally, I think Stevie J will get off.