With the AFL Draft over and the year winding down, it’s time to look back at the drug-addled train wreck that was season 2013.

Was it a good season? No. Did we enjoy it? Of course. Even an awful season is great.

The real negatives of the season were the drug scandal that hung around all year, Hawthorn winning the Premiership and Nick Maxwell doing special comments on Seven.

Given how much there is to cover, I’ve divided this review up into several parts.

So let’s begin our look back at Season 2013 with a look at the ACC report into drugs in sport (I will save the ASADA investigation up for the Essendon section. Yay!).

The Darkest Day in Australian Sports that really wasn’t

February 7 was the day the Australian Crime Commission released its report on the widespread use of drugs in sport and links to organised crime. Just two days before, Essendon had self-reported their supplements program to ASADA and the AFL.

The 45-page ACC report had everything you’d want: nice pictures of needles, some case studies and a section called ‘THE IMPORTANCE OF SPORT IN AUSTRALIA’. Turns out, it’s really important.

Yes, The report had everything except actual evidence.

This didn’t stop two Federal Ministers making the heads of all the major sporting codes front a media conference like errant school kids at an assembly.

What the press conference lacked in hard evidence it made up for with stern faces and people pretending this was really serious. Announcing we were invading another country would have required less people.

For fans however, it left one big question unanswered: would Supercoach teams that had players found using steroids be stripped of points and face future drafting penalties? At the time of writing, that question hangs over all our heads.

The AFL said they would catch the drug cheats. ‘We really mean it this time. No, stop laughing, we really do. Stop it. Now you’re making us laugh,’ they didn’t say but we got the vibe.

It soon reached such hysteria that it was revealed the ACC may have tapped AFL players’ phones.

The ACC admitted they didn’t find out much about drugs but learnt a lot about which nightclubs are good and the new Assassin’s Creed (good not great).

The AFL even floated the idea of a ‘friends register’ for AFL players to stop them hanging out with unsavoury characters. Here’s a draft copy:

The AFL Friend Register Form

Of course this lack of evidence didn’t stop the Melbourne media just randomly guessing which players might be on PEDs. ‘We’ll find out who it is when one of them doesn’t sue us for defamation,’ they said.

Chatting to the Media about the AFL Drug Scandal

Surprisingly, after all the hype, the report has had as much impact as Mick Malthouse on Carlton.

Except for ASADA. For them it was a godsend. Suddenly they appeared relevant as their CEO’s letter to sport fans shows:

ASADA’s CEO Aurora Andruska Writes to all Sport Fans

Adelaide Crows

Oh Adelaide! This was meant to be a great year but then your CEO intervened.

Luckily for you, he’s back after a depressingly short suspension.

Before 2013 even began, Adelaide was rocked by Kurt Tippett announcing he would be returning ‘home’ to Sydney. Which was weird because he’s from the Gold Coast.

Here’s his justification:

Kurt Tippett Explains that Sydney is Almost Home

Part of the fall out from this decision was the revelation of a secret deal struck between Adelaide and Tippett.

This led to an AFL investigation which saw the Crows hit with a $300,000 fine and banned from the first two rounds of the national draft. In Adelaide, $300,000 is equivalent to $4 billion in any other state (except Tasmania which is more a national park and has a barter economy).

CEO Steven Trigg was personally fined $50,000 and unfortunately for Crows fans, only banned from the AFL for six-months.

This turmoil was compounded on the field when star forward Taylor Walker suffered a season ending injury in round five.

On the plus side, Assistant Coach Dean Bailey was banned for 16 weeks for his role in Melbourne’s tanking saga.

From there, the Crows never lived up to predictions, finishing with 10 wins in 11th place.

Crows fans were looking for the 2014 season to be better with these issues now behind them.

Unfortunately, the Crows have since lost Bernie Vince to Melbourne and accidentally recruited Eddie Betts.

Brisbane Lions

The good news for Lions fans is that Angus Johnson’s attempt to revert Brisbane back into the Bears (at least financially and on the field) has ended. The bad news is he had a real crack at it.

The year started off with a victory in the NAB Cup but then had a very shaky start with numerous poor performances including being thrashed by the Bulldogs which is actually hard to do.

Things started to pick up a bit though and a famous victory against Geelong in Round 13 after being 50 points down in the third quarter, seemed to offer some hope.

The Lions actually seemed to be showing some signs of ability and momentum, so Angus and Co decided a change was obviously needed.

Of course being this Board, they arranged for Michael Voss, a true club champion, to leave in the most shambolic way.

The media found out early and the Brisbane Board scrambled to organise a statement. Angus intimated that Brisbane would be getting Paul Roos which would have made sense of the madness.

Unfortunately, for the Board, Paul Roos decided Melbourne was a better option (you read that right).

Brisbane Chair Angus Johnson announced his plan B for finding a coach that mainly involved an ad on Seek.

The ensuing uncertainty led to players wanting out. It was a case of another day, another Brisbane player wanting to leave.

For Lions fans, it’s like a bad advent calendar.

Things got to the point that former Premiership Coach, Leigh Matthews, attacked the Board and the Chair specifically and announced his intention to mount a competing ticket.

Brisbane Chair, Angus Johnson, showed his usual insight by saying he was keen to fight against Leigh Matthews. ‘What’s Leigh Matthews ever achieved for this club or football?’

How far had Brisbane fallen? Billy Longer let them know he preferred to go to St Kilda. St Kilda when it was coached by Scott Watters.

With Matthews’ push for the Board taking time, the faltering Board pushed forward by appointing former player Justin Leppitsch.

At the announcement, Angus Johnson said he hoped Justin Leppitsch ‘will bring Richmond’s winning culture to the Lions.’

You can only imagine how pleased Lions fans were, pulling off a massive coup like getting Justin Leppitsch.

Of course, Leigh Matthews always wins, so Angus was out.

The pain was not over though. Brisbane announced a $1.5m loss.

‘It’s due to lower than expected crowds and forgetting to change our PIN after Fevola left,’ said Leigh.

Matthews quickly announced his solution to Brisbane’s financial woes, a ‘mummy’s boy’ tax on players returning home.