I sat down with Wayne Carey to talk about his career as an AFL commentator at Channel Seven’s studio in Melbourne. Present was Carey and a Channel Seven publicist.

Titus O’Reily: Wayne thanks for sitting down with me.

Wayne Carey: Sam Mitchell wouldn’t get a game at any other club.

O’Reily: Woah, slow down there Wayne. We're not in the Channel Seven commentary box, I’m not pumping extra oxygen in here or whatever they put in the water to make you all a bit unhinged.

Carey: Mark Neeld, deserves a second chance at coaching at AFL level.

O’Reily: Are you OK Wayne? Your eyes are a bit glazed, like late nineties Wayne.

Carey: The AFL’s equalisation policy is working, the third man up rule is clear and well understood, Travis Cloke is a natural goal kicker, Chris Judd deserved his second Brownlow, Andrew Demetriou didn’t stay on too long, Carlton were smart to trade for Liam Jones…

Seven Publicist: Sorry, this happens sometimes. The chip we put in their brain to stop them saying anything insightful or entertaining goes on the blip. I’ll just reset him.

O’Reily: That explains so much. Especially a lot of what BT says.

Seven Publicist: Oh BT doesn’t have one, his skull is too thick for the operation. Luke Darcy has two.

O’Reily: Can he hear us?

Seven Publicist: Oh no. This one goes on the blink a fair bit. There wasn’t a lot to work with to begin with I’m afraid. Thanks for not bringing up his entire life up to about two years ago.

O’Reily: No problem, I might head off then but it’s answered a lot of my questions.

Seven Publicist: Yeah, it’ll be hours until we can get him up and running again and then we’ll have to reload the sensitivity training program again.