Sunday 14 October 2012

Woke up early this morning. Melbourne Marathon today but I really don’t want to run it with about 30,000 people, so I got up at 4am and ran the course by myself.

Got home just after 6am, which I believe, is an ok time. I felt so refreshed I spent half an hour doing some sit-ups.

Diary, it’s been a while since I’ve confided in you. In fact, I haven’t written a thing since that dark day we were bundled out of the finals.

As you, dear diary, know all too well, I do not handle failure well.

I suppose some people do handle failure well but I definitely don’t know them and I’d prefer a world in which they didn’t exist.

Now however, I feel I can move on. The pain of the loss has now been put in the motivation furnace and will only fuel me to greater efforts.

Free agency and trade week have begun and have been a real pain. We drafted Lynch, which was great but then I have Dawes crack the sads about it.

When we spoke, he said he felt the drafting of Lynch was a vote of no confidence in him and would result in less playing time for him. He said it effectively reduced him to a role player.

I didn’t respond because I thought he was just stating facts. This seemed to upset him even more.

When I finally said to him, ‘You’re not that good and I needed someone a bit better,’ he didn’t seem to appreciate that at all.

Everyone says they want honesty but they don’t; they just don’t. Whoever said, ‘Honesty is the best policy,’ never had to coach an AFL side.

Then Dawes says he wants a trade to another club. He then chooses Melbourne. Melbourne?! I’d forgotten they were in the AFL! When someone told me I said, ‘No really, where did he decide?’

This is literally going from a Lexus to an Opel. What the hell is an Opel? At least I know where to rank a Korean car. Where is an Opel from? South America? One of those weird countries that used to be in the USSR?

I mean the only good player I can name from the Demons is that Liam Jurrah. I guess Dawes thought playing alongside him would be good.

Dawes going to Melbourne does give that Mark guy who used to work for us a few more options up forward.

The club is now acting like we’re really going to drive a hard bargain over Dawes leaving. Yeah! ‘Cause I really want someone who’s publicly nominated wanting to go to another club around next year. Give me one of those Opel cars and let’s call it a deal.

I’ve also had to move Sharrod Wellingham on to the Eagles. I told him and the club it was because of salary cap reasons but it was really because I couldn’t stand the fragrance of whatever product he used to put in his hair.

The only thing I’ve ever used in my hair to keep it in place is kerosene. It’s very effective. Sure, it burns a little but you know its working. As a result, I’ve never had lice. Never.

Sharrod was a good kid but he seemed to be a bit too focused on fashion. I have never been accused of being fashionable. I have often been accused of being one of the best footballers ever. Coincidence?

The club was really annoyed at him when he announced he would go to the Eagles on their website without telling us.

Eddie rang me and was furious. After venting for several hours he stopped and asked why I wasn’t that upset. I asked him if he had ever taken the time to smell Sharrod’s hair. He said, “Do you think I have time to go around smelling people’s hair?” Then he said he had someone on the other line and hung up.

Anyway diary, it’s good to be back, getting all these things off my chest. Let’s hope we get the nuisance that is Summer over relatively quickly and get back to life meaning something again.