Dear Diary

I’ve never understood crying. It always struck me as poor way to stay hydrated.

This week saw all sorts of people crying about tagging. What’s the deal diary?

Tagging is part of the gladiatorial game of AFL.

I used to be upset if I didn’t get tagged.

The thrill of running your opponent all over the ground till they lose the will to live is the only time I’ve felt truly alive.

Well, that and watching a Mick Malthouse press conference.

Imagine being tagged out of a game and then complaining about it?

Complaining is just a way of telling the world what your weaknesses are. It makes no sense for grown men to do this.

On the upside, Mick is in a world of hurt. It’s like watching an ex find out they’re dating a psychopath.

What’s more he’s still defending the ‘kicking around the boundary stuff.’

Welcome to 2010 Mick!

The only bad thing about Carlton’s problems is Eddie coming in to my office every five minutes for a ‘high-five’. That man has no coordination.

Anyway, I’m off to run around the tan a few times. I get the kids to cling to me to give the feel of being tagged.

It’s just not the same though.