Monday August 6

Big game this week for Nathan Buckley and Collingwood. Travelling to Sydney always makes Nathan nervous. Darwin aside, I find the northern states frivolous. Too much sun, surf and rugby league.

Sure, the Swans fans are up and about now, but we all know they are fair weather supporters. I can’t believe how superficial Sydney footy crowds can be. It’s like they have no history with the game. Like they don’t know their two teams are gifts from God. It seems they think about things other than perfect execution and winning Premierships.

Talked to Tania about Sydneysiders’ lack of commitment this morning for a couple of hours after my run. She wasn’t too thrilled to be woken at 4am but I had to get it off my chest.

Dane Swan turning up hungover interrupted training this morning … really interrupted training. My immediate reaction was to delist him but Eddie rang from London and talked me off the ledge. Something about forgiveness and compassion Ed said.

Compassion is a distraction. If I was compassionate towards my abs, they would not be the washboard that they are today. They have learned the Nathan Buckley lesson. Dane needs to learn the Nathan Buckley lesson. Maybe I can start by removing his tatts. He needs to look like a professional. Shouldn’t be too difficult. I’ve bought the laser equipment and I execute things very, very well.

Tuesday August 7

Watched The Shire last night. What the hell is Beckaa doing with her life? If her Dad thinks she’s going to stick around at Uni after he pays for that boob job he’s nuts. No one else wanted to talk about it at work which I found frustrating.

Everyone just wanted to talk about the Dane Swan ‘situation’ and how to handle the media. Seriously what situation? It happened yesterday. Gary Pert asked if I thought we could still win on Saturday. I don’t need this kind of doubt around me.

Wednesday August 8

I told Dayne Beams that I need him to kick a few goals on Saturday night. He said it shouldn’t be a problem. Really like the kid. Listens to everything I say and just executes. I offered to remove his tatts but he just stared at me blankly.

Media conference today. All the media wanted to ask was about Dane Swan. Seriously? This is still a thing? Apparently there are rumours Dane denied drinking.

I don’t have time for this nonsense. I’m in the business of winning. Nothing else. What the hell do I care about rumours? This isn’t high school.

The club’s media director, Stephen Rielly said to take a firm but fair stand on the Swan issue. He said it was important to send the message it had been dealt with and we’d moved on. I said I should mention I wanted to delist him until I got the phone call from London. He just stared at me and his eyes went really wide.

Got a few questions about whether Didak would be playing. There’s another one. What is it with human frailty? Not something I’ve ever personally understood. You just execute perfectly what you need to do to achieve your goals. Simple. Move on.

Thursday August 9

Thursdays are a distraction in my life. I have no time for them. No Premierships are won on Thursday. Football is rarely played on Thursday. I have disciplined my mind into treating Thursday and Friday as one long lead-up to Friday Night Football. This makes my week more efficient and my execution more excellent. Thursdays are for those who lack discipline.

Friday August 10

Starting to really look forward to the game on Saturday night. I’m sure we will win now. I’ve made a bet with Rodney Eade that we’ll win it in the closing minutes. He wasn’t so sure. He said whoever is wrong should buy the other a bottle of wine. I told him gambling on AFL was illegal and we had strict rules around drinking. He just stared at me blankly before he got a phone call from Port Adelaide chief executive Keith Thomas and had to pop outside.

Saturday August 11

Well we did it. All those spineless commentators who questioned leaving Swan out have been proven wrong.

A lesser man may take joy from such a set of circumstances. That path however leads to hubris. Something the Collingwood Football Club and myself cannot afford.

As per usual after the win I allowed myself one mintie, the only sugar that’s entered my body all week, and five minutes of feeling a sense of reward.

After that I leave the rooms and bump into some of the cheersquad. These are people I get. They understand football is the only thing that truly matters.

We say good bye and I decide to skip the plane and jog back to Melbourne.