Finally.

Footy is back and I couldn’t be happier. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed watching Australia dismantle the English Cricket program piece-by-piece but it’s still not footy.

Tonight, the NAB Challenge kicks off with Geelong v Collingwood.

What happened to the NAB Cup you may wonder? Well it turns out the AFL got bored with it too. They just took a lot longer than the rest of us.

What is the NAB Challenge and how does it work? Well here’s a simple guide to this slightly stupid competition.

Format

When the AFL decided to get rid of the NAB Cup, its sponsor cracked it. ‘What are we giving you all that money for then?’ they exclaimed.

‘I thought you just liked us,’ said the AFL before quickly coming up with an even worse alternative.

A ‘carnival of footy’ consisting of 18 games over 18 days was the half-arsed solution.

Every team plays two games with at least a six day break between each game.

There is no Grand Final and also no winner.

This format has been embraced by St Kilda, Melbourne, Bulldogs and GWS supporters, who would like to see something similar introduced in the regular season.

You could say having no winners or losers is part of this ‘communism’ push (AFL may be calling this ‘equalisation’ but we know what they mean) to keep things equal

This also means the Michael Tuck Medal is gone, meaning a medal named after a player known for his longevity, lasted only 22 years. Michael Tuck himself played for 20.

Each game will be shown on Fox Footy with none on free-to-air because poor people can get stuffed according to the AFL.

Oddly, every team has one more practice match before the season starts but they are not part of the NAB Challenge.

Rules

The AFL are always keen to DESTROY THE GAME by testing new rules in the pre-season.

This year it’s all about getting ready for the interchange cap of 120 rotations per game, that will apply in the regular season.

Interchange rotations will be capped at 130 during the NAB Challenge and clubs can have two substitutes in the first half of games. At halftime the subs are reset and the same or new players can don the green vests.

That should be wonderfully confusing and chaotic for everyone involved.

Clubs can pick 26 players (six interchange and two substitutes) in each Challenge game.

Every quarter will be 20 minutes long plus time on which is good because the standard will be abysmal.

Clubs will also be allowed only one runner and trainers will only be able to come on in appropriate breaks in play. As compensation, trainers will get to wear pink vests, so there’s that.

The nine-point goal from outside fifty remains. The AFL say this is popular but then they would say that.

The Joel Selwood Rule

The practice of purposely ducking your head when tackled, to draw a free, will now be called play-on. This will also apply to players running into a stationary player while ducking their head.

The Travis Cloke Rule

Umpires will now have more leeway in marking competitions when a player pushes another out in a test of strength. A push in the back is still a push in the back but the sides etc, will be fair game.

The officiating of these rules is sure to cause much confusion and a few heart attacks amongst fans.

Venues

A lot of games are at Etihad Stadium which is a shame and there are a heap of regional games.

North Ballarat, Wangaratta, Townsville, Alice Springs and Wagga Wagga will all host games.

GWS Giants v St Kilda at Wagga Wagga may be the first AFL game to have a negative attendance.

So there you have it. It’s not good footy but it is footy and that is more than good enough.