Apr 07, 2014

AFL

Monday Morning Knee Jerk Reaction AFL Round 3

Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday morning you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria extrapolating three rounds of football to end of year results.

You've come to the right place.

Hawthorn v Fremantle

Waiting to crown Hawthorn Premiers is taking forever. The ease at which the Hawks destroyed their former Grand Final adversaries shows how Luke Hodge is obviously not needed. Trade him immediately.

As for Fremantle, they are finished forever. Ross Lyon is already planning his exit to another contender.

Poor Ross, the players always seem to let him down, even though he is kind of behind them some of the way.

Bulldogs v Richmond

How about those Bulldogs? Either they're not that bad or Richmond are truly awful.

I like to think it's a little from column A and a little from column B.

The good news for the Bulldogs is that this win means they've met their team goal for the season.

As for Richmond, please exit the bandwagon in a calm and orderly manner.

Damian Hardwick has to go. I hear Terry Wallace is very much free. He’s fleshed out his 5-year plan so that it now requires 18 years.

Adelaide v Sydney

The recruitment of Buddy Franklin is a masterstroke. As everyone knows, I've been a big fan of the move since it happened and never lost my head in numerous columns and tweets early in the season.

As for Adelaide, they squandered a chance to win at their home ground.

It's a big call but they need to move back to Footy Park immediately. The Adelaide Oval experiment has been a total failure.

Gold Coast v Brisbane

This is easily the biggest rivalry in the AFL and wasn't it a cracker.

The wonderful platform the Lions built throughout last year is really starting to pay dividends isn't it?

As for the Gold Coast, they now have the bragging rights in the state of Queensland. If only Queenslanders knew who they were.

West Coast v St Kilda

All credit to St Kilda, we all thought they’d suck but they don’t suck anywhere near as much as we thought.

This Alan Richardson guy seems to really know what he’s doing, which is a good but rare feature in a coach.

As for West Coast, you have to be impressed by any team that can go 3-0 against the Bulldogs, Melbourne and St Kilda.

Collingwood v Geelong

What a game! Well, compared to the rest of the drivel served up to us this weekend, this actually had elements of a good game.

The amazing cloning program at Geelong shows no signs of stopping. Geelong need to lock down the good Scott brother fast.

As for Collingwood, it is obvious Dane Swan is finished and can never be good again. Time to send him to Carlton.

Greater Western Sydney v Melbourne

What a terrific display of something close to football.

If you watched this game, the AFL are providing free counselling for post-traumatic stress disorder.

Only 7,016 people attended, although to be accurate you should subtract about 16 Melbourne players who didn’t show up.

There were whole sections of this game that it was hard to believe these were actual professional footballers who practice this sport every week.

Paul Roos looked like a man who woke up from a nightmare only to realise it was still going on and was actually worse.

GWS did what they needed to do and wasn't it wonderful for Demons supporters to see Josh Kelly play so well for them.

If GWS can keep playing quality games like this, they’ll have dozens of members in no time.

North Melbourne v Port Adelaide

Who knew? North aren’t completely awful. In fact, give a few injuries to their opponent and they’re in any game.

It’s obvious all that top four hype before the season was only a bit silly, not completely bonkers.

As for Port, they need to sack Ken Hinkley. Such a massive failure this early in the season needs a massive overreaction.

Essendon v Carlton

So it seems the AFL scheduled a comedy for its Sunday Night timeslot.

Essendon have unearthed a great coach in Bomber Thompson. It’s like he’s done it before. That said, he’s no James Hird.

As for Carlton, they looked like a team that not only didn't want to be there but like they didn't know why they were there.

Next week, the Blues play Melbourne in a game that could set football back 100 years. Under the AFL’s variable ticketing, you get paid to go.

Of course it’s obvious, Mick Malthouse has to go as do all the players.