Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

You want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

ADELAIDE

IN: Paul Seedsman, Curtly Hampton, Dean Gore, Troy Menzel

OUT: Patrick Dangerfield, Sam Kerridge

DRAFT PICKS: 9, 13, 71, 89, 107, 125

The Crows were always going to have a difficult trade period with Dangerfield going to Geelong.

While they haven’t exactly replaced him they did get Dean Gore, who I suspect isn’t quite as good as Patrick Dangerfield but he is from South Australia so will at least know the way to training.

On the plus side for the Crows, their Victorian academy sent them over Troy Menzel now that he’s ready to play AFL.

Given the quality of players that academy has provided before, look for Menzel to suddenly win the Coleman.

So can the Crows fans be happy? No, it was a disaster, they lost one of the top three midfielders in the competition.

Rating: Five out of ten Terry Wallaces (Ten Wallaces being the worst, one being the best because less is more).

BRISBANE

IN: Jarrad Jansen, Josh Walker, Ryan Bastinac, Tom Bell

OUT: Matthew Leuenberger, Jack Redden, James Aish

DRAFT PICKS: 2, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 78, 96, 114

FUTURE (2016) PICKS: Round 2 selection (St Kilda)

Much like Adelaide, the Lions lost superstar James Aish to Collingwood.

Seriously, has anyone got more media for just whinging and achieving nothing? Oh right, Carlisle.

Brisbane are the guy at the year ten social who just got braces and a serious outbreak of acne; no one wants to dance with them. It’s actually amazing they got anyone at all.

Amazingly, for one of the ins, Tom Bell, going to the Lions is actually a step up, given he’s coming from Carlton. That’s exciting for him.

The sad thing for Lions fans is that trade period is not about who they get but who the lose.

This year they haemorrhaged more talent and have done nothing to make that change anytime soon.

Rating: Seven Terry Wallaces

CARLTON

IN: Jed Lamb, Andrew Phillips, Lachie Plowman, Liam Sumner, Sam Kerridge

OUT: Tom Bell, Lachie Henderson, Troy Menzel, Chris Yarran

DRAFT PICKS: 1, 8, 11, 19, 59, 60, 113

FUTURE (2016) PICKS: Round 3 selection (Western Bulldogs)

Can you hear that beeping? It’s the sound of the GWS garbage truck backing up to Princes Park or whatever they’re calling it at the moment.

In years to come, this trade period will either show that Stephen Silvagni is a genius or the man that set Carlton back years, if that’s possible at this stage.

I guess he read the situation as being so monumentally stuffed that there was not a lot of risk in blowing the whole thing up. It’s hard to fault his logic there.

Really, this is putting a lot of hope in the club’s ability to develop its draft picks (not a great record there) and not then trade the good ones away for peanuts (an even worse track record there).

So Blues fans can expect basically another tough year with the promise of improvement in the future. That doesn’t sound familiar at all!

Oh well, at least Blues fans can be confident that things can probably not get worse.

Rating: Two Terry Wallaces (although it could just as easily be ten with hindsight).

COLLINGWOOD

IN: Jeremy Howe, Adam Treloar, James Aish

OUT: Nathan Freeman, Ben Kennedy, Paul Seedsman

DRAFT PICKS: 27, 66, 77, 83, 84, 101, 119

I take it all these players wanting to get to Collingwood haven’t seen the Pies play in a few years.

Pies fans tell me they can see the promise in this young team and maybe that’s true, it’s just the Buckley era seems to have all been about promise and not enough about success.

A fun fact is the difficult deals to get Treloar and Aish to the Pies involved all 18 AFL clubs, Perth Glory, a medium sized South American country and a goat. The goat should thrive on the Suns forward line or at least keep the grass down.

Treloar was so keen to get to the Pies that he recorded a video of him signing his contract before he’d even left the Giants. Got to love that keenness!

It was awkward when the video leaked but really, is the the leak is the problem?

I would have thought the secret surgery and filming a video of signing a new contract before anything had officially happened should be more the issue.

Still, it highlights again that the busiest person at an AFL club this time of year is whoever knows how to use Photoshop and edit videos. No wonder they tried to do this early. I hope Melbourne’s Patrick Dangerfield video never leaks.

The Pies have definitely improved their midfield this trade period but is that enough to offset the fact they have Jesse White and Travis Cloke as a forward line? You can kick it in there all you want but you’re not going to win.

Rating: Four Terry Wallaces

ESSENDON

IN: Matthew Leuenberger, Craig Bird

OUT: Jake Carlisle, Jonathan Giles, Jake Melksham

DRAFT PICKS: 4, 5, 24, 25, 57, 80, 98, 116

Bombers fans are in the weird place of being grateful to Alastair Clarkson. His interest in Jake Carlisle certainly helped the Bombers land pick 5 for him which is overs by a lot and then ridiculous overs when a video of him sniffing ‘white powder’ is released the night of the trade.

That alone was a win and then you add pick 25 for Melksham and Essendon must have been tempted to wander down to the casino for a few hands of poker.

They also bought in Matthew Leuenberger, showing James Hird’s interesting experiment with no rucks has run it’s course. He was truly an innovator Hirdy, even if it was in bad ideas.

Rating: Two Terry Wallaces

FREMANTLE

IN: Harley Bennell

OUT: Nil

DRAFT PICKS: 22, 35, 61, 74, 92, 110, 128

You know when you get home and realise you forgot to get milk? Fremantle have done that but with a key forward.

It’s pretty amazing that a club with really only one pressing need couldn’t get it done. And don’t give me that ‘GWS were being mean’ nonsense over Cameron McCarthy. He was a contracted player, you have to pay overs for that; this isn’t kindergarten, it’s professional sports.

Fremantle had to get that deal done and they didn’t. When you’re that close to a premiership you go all in or risk not getting back there.

At least they managed to fill Colin Sylvia’s role so quickly with Harley Bennell.

Rating: Nine Terry Wallaces

GEELONG

IN: Patrick Dangerfield, Lachie Henderson, Scott Selwood, Zac Smith

OUT: Dean Gore, Steve Johnson, Jarrad Jansen, Dawson Simpson, Josh Walker

DRAFT PICKS: 67, 85, 103, 121

FUTURE (2016) PICKS: Round 3 selection (Brisbane), Round 5 selection (GWS)

This trade period is being seen as a massive win for the Cats and it definitely seems that way. Dangerfield is a superstar and he alone makes them better.

The Cats hierarchy are still pinching themselves that someone was homesick enough to want to work in Geelong.

There’s some question marks over the rest though. Scott Selwood’s has an ankle injury that required surgery, Zac Smith lost the number one ruck role at the Suns and Lachie Henderson is Lachie Henderson.

If they all come good this is a big turnaround in the Cats’ fortunes, if they all struggle, they’ve mortgaged the farm.

I tend to think it was worth it but the risks are there.

Rating: Three Terry Wallaces

GOLD COAST

IN: Matt Rosa, Daniel Currie, a goat

OUT: Harley Bennell, Charlie Dixon, Zac Smith

DRAFT PICKS: 6, 16, 29, 56, 79, 97, 115

Much like their season, the trade period was somewhere between bad and pointless. It may have also involved a lot of alcohol.

They lost the talented but troubled Bennell and Charlie Dixon for not a lot in return. Their expansion cousin GWS at least managed to load up on a lot of draft points.

The bottom line is the Suns have been weakened over the offseason which is the opposite of what you’re meant to do. Basically, you’d want the Gold Coast Suns’ list manager in your fantasy league.

Rating: Ten Terry Wallaces

GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY

IN: Steve Johnson, Dawson Simpson,

OUT: Adam Treloar, Curtly Hampton, Jed Lamb, Andrew Phillips, Lachie Plowman, Liam Sumner, Jacob Townsend, Tomas Bugg

DRAFT PICKS: 10, 34, 43, 53, 55, 58, 63, 64, 65, 70, 95, 102

FUTURE (2016) PICKS: Round 1 selection (Collingwood), Round 1 selection (Carlton), Round 2 selection (Adelaide)

The Giants showed they understood the AFL’s new draft points system better than the AFL did by collecting points like they’re Travis Cloke.

They may be the only people who do understand it.

It means they can lock in academy players over the next few years.

They also managed to dump a whole lot of players that weren’t even playing in the seniors onto Carlton, which could come back to bite them or be seen as a masterstroke.

The main deal they didn’t get done was Cameron McCarthy who is now stuck somewhere he openly doesn’t want to be; like me at every dinner party I’ve ever been to.

McCartney’s manager Colin Young managed this situation like it was a case study from the book ‘How not to manage deals.’

McCartney would probably be better off focusing on changing manager before worrying about changing teams.

For the Giants though, this was a win. They know his value, what Fremantle offered didn’t suit them so they’ll see what’s around next year. It’s not their job to help players leave.

Stevie J is well worth the risk for the Giants, even if it’s just to have the experience around the club and at the tribunal.

Rating: Three Terry Wallaces

HAWTHORN

IN: Jack Fitzpatrick

OUT: Jed Anderson, Matt Suckling

DRAFT PICKS: 15, 18, 48, 76, 112, 130

Could Jack Fitzpatrick be the missing piece of Hawthorn’s premiership puzzle? I certainly think so. It would be boringly predictable if Hawthorn turn him into a decent player after he languished in the VFL at Melbourne.

On the Carlisle trade, it showed that even when Hawthorn lose they win. The feeling at Hawks HQ must have been like winning another Grand Final when A Current Affair aired.

No wonder they’re a happy team, the universe just keeps sprinkling them with fairy dust.

They did loose Suckling but have two first round picks so I suspect they may know what they’re doing.

Rating: Five Terry Wallaces

MELBOURNE

IN: Jake Melksham, Ben Kennedy, Tomas Bugg

OUT: Jeremy Howe, Jimmy Toumpas

DRAFT PICKS: 3, 7, 46, 50, 82, 94, 100, 118

So Jake Melksham is now officially a Demon. This certainly breaks the 2016 premiership race wide open.

The saddest bit about where Melbourne are at is that getting Melksham actually makes sense. He’s an upgrade on what they’ve had, as are Bugg and Kennedy.

These are all good gets, assuming Melksham can improve under Goodwin and away from Essendon, yet they’re not A-graders by a long shot.

What was heartening is the Dees identified the need for the northern states to rack up draft points and used that to their advantage. It means they have picks 3 and 7.

This would have once filled Demon fans with dread but recent drafting has been pretty good over all.

Toumpas going is another Mark Neeld special shed from the club, always a good thing, while Howe is no big loss apart from the obvious marketing appeal.

Probably the main negative for Melbourne is they managed to hold onto Jack Watts.

Rating: Three Terry Wallaces

NORTH MELBOURNE

IN: Jed Anderson

OUT: Daniel Currie, Ryan Bastinac

DRAFT PICKS: 17, 26, 28, 47, 73, 91, 109, 127

For a club so close to the Grand Final, I’m not really sure what the Kangaroos were doing this off season.

Their draft picks aren’t great and Jed Anderson is not going to be the difference maker. They lost out in the race for both Aish and Howe but you could argue that sometimes a loss is a win.

Still, this leaves them a team almost good enough but not quite.

Rating: Seven Terry Wallaces.

PORT ADELAIDE

IN: Charlie Dixon, Jimmy Toumpas,

OUT: Nil

DRAFT PICKS: 32, 49, 86, 104, 122

Jimmy Toumpas is a bit of a mystery to me. At times he seemed to be putting things together and he definitely had the junior pedigree. Perhaps the storied Melbourne development system just didn’t work for Jimmy.

The Power will be hoping to turn him around but it almost seems a player who struggles as much as he has usually doesn’t make it back. I watched him a few times at VFL level and he was out of his depth there. Still they paid nothing for him so there’s only upside for the Power.

Dixon is a better chance. He’s shown he can play and a move out of the Gold Coast will probably suit him just fine. Being close to all those award wining wineries should definitely help relax him before a game.

Rating: Four Terry Wallaces

RICHMOND

IN: Jacob Townsend, Chris Yarran

OUT: Nil

DRAFT PICKS: 12, 52, 88, 106, 120, 124

A big win getting Yarran without giving up pick twelve, even if they did have to white knuckle it right to the end.

Not a lot else doing though, which considering they’ve struggled to progress pass week one of the finals makes you wonder what they’re doing. They must have a lot of faith in the kids on the list or their list manager got the dates wrong for the trade period.

I’m suspecting it’s a ‘wrong dates’ scenario.

Rating: Six Terry Wallaces

ST KILDA

IN: Jake Carlisle, Nathan Freeman

OUT: Nil

DRAFT PICKS: 14, 45, 68, 81, 99, 117

How far St Kilda have fallen. I remember when they could do their own homegrown scandals. Now they have to trade in scandals. It reminds me of how Australia could once build cars here.

Seriously, pick five for Jake Carlisle. Some times the jokes just write themselves.

His A Current Afafair starring role suddenly made Collingwood’s Adam Treloar signing video only the second most embarrassing leaked video of the trade period.

It gives some deep insights into Jake’s commitment and smarts. I can only imagine the conversation:

“You’re not filming this so you can send it to someone to sell to ACA are you?”

“Jake that’s crazy. You have to learn to trust your mates. Now could you snort that ‘white powder’ over here where you’re back lit a bit better?”

St Kilda can angrily posture all they want but there were question marks about this guy’s attitude before the video and he wasn’t worth pick five before it either.

Rating: Nine Terry Wallaces

SYDNEY

IN: Callum Sinclair, Michael Talia

OUT: Craig Bird, Lewis Jetta

DRAFT PICKS: 33, 36, 37, 44, 54, 69, 72, 90, 108, 126

Hard to rate this highly but they are still suffering from a draconian penalty for following the AFL’s rules.

Lewis Jetta is a loss but not the end of the world, the real problem is the Swans haven’t been able to bring anyone of note in.

Missing out on Matthew Leuenberger was a disappointment given Canadian Rugby Star Mike Pyke has retired.

Rating: Seven Terry Wallaces but with an asterisk

WEST COAST

IN: Jonathan Giles, Lewis Jetta, Jack Redden

OUT: Matt Rosa, Scott Selwood, Callum Sinclair

DRAFT PICKS: 23, 31, 62, 75, 93, 111, 129

So Lewis Jetta will fit in perfectly to a side that disappeared during a Grand Final.

The Eagles though should be pretty pleased overall with Redden and Jetta arriving, they’ll be in their top 22 straight away.

They didn’t lose anything of note, considering Selwood was injured for a lot of this year and his quality after his return is unknown.

I like them getting Jack Redden considering Brisbane seem to produce great talent for other teams.

Rating: Four Terry Wallaces

WESTERN BULLDOGS

IN: Matt Suckling

OUT: Michael Talia

DRAFT PICKS: 20, 21, 30, 51, 87, 105, 123

FUTURE (2016) PICKS: Round 4 selection (Carlton), Round 4 selection (Sydney Swans)

Not a huge trade period but replacing Jarrad Grant with Matt Suckling is a win in most people’s book.

The Doggies didn’t get any pieces they desperately need but they have been rebuilding through the draft and you have to say they’ve been doing pretty well with that approach.

Rating: Five Terry Wallaces