Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Port Adelaide (140) v Carlton (37)

So are Port pulling it together just in time for the finals, or was it just Carlton reverting to being Carlton?

I like to think it’s a little from column A, a little from column B.

To begin, it would be remiss of me not to mention this game was played in front of the largest home-and-away crowd in Port‘s history, with 52,505 people turning up.

Apparently, this made it really loud, as numerous people on Twitter pointed out to me.

Robbie Gray starred with 31 possessions and four goals and even got a small mention in the Melbourne media for his effort.

Mick Malthouse said his team was ‘awful’ and he was right.

Beginning a proud tradition this week for losing coaches, he said his team was "desperately tired".

To be fair, more than a few Blues players did seem asleep out there.

At work this week, if you don’t deliver something on time, just explain you’re ‘desperately tired’ after a long year.

North Melbourne (101) v Adelaide (94)

While I’m not the sort to make fun of anyone, it’s come to my attention that many people mock the Kangaroos for their lack of inconsistency.

Therefore, I would like to praise the North Melbourne Football Club for winning this one and clinching at least a home elimination final.

Not sure if that will be held in Hobart or Ballarat yet, but well done all the same.

Both sides missed opportunities throughout the game, but it was North that managed to make it count when it mattered.

Importantly, North showed they were not overawed by the 10,702 crowd, a big test for them.

Much was made of James Podisadly giving away a late 50-metre penalty and then hitting the post, taking momentum away from the Crows’ comeback.

Personally, I like to think there have been a lot more contributors to Adelaide being only average throughout the year. Let’s give spread the credit here everyone.

Essendon (108) v Gold Coast (89)

The feel good story of the year continues, with Essendon all but clinching a spot in the finals.

I’m reading everyone’s mood correctly there right? Right?

Brendon Goddard kicked three goals and had 28 disposals and for the first time in a long time is probably glad he’s at Essendon instead of St Kilda. At least for this week.

Gold Coast continued their aversion to winning without Gary, although they were better this round.

The even lead in the final quarter, but lacked the discipline to keep the lead.

Coach Guy McKenna said his young midfielders had learnt a lot with their captain being out.

I bet he means they’ve learned they really need Gary Ablett.

Greater Western Sydney (67) v Collingwood (75)

I can’t tell you how many jokes I had lined up during this game, then the Pies got it together and won. Damn them!

They were truly amazing jokes too, some of the best ever crafted.

One made even linked Pies fans to having no teeth and another mentioned Centrelink!

Can you imagine? Very clever stuff.

This was a close one for the Pies and they have so many injuries, you have to admire them for winning this. Man that hurt to write.

Of course, you also have to hose down all that reaction that made this out to be one of the greatest wins in history. They’re an excitable lot those Pies supporters.

Some even said this keeps their finals hopes alive, but as every farmer knows, something this injured needs to be put out of its misery. It’s the humane thing to do.

It is amazing the injury run the Pies have had. I haven’t seen a run of injuries like this since Essendon’s 2012 season.

Not that I’m implying anything of course! I’d be appalled if that comment had anything read into it just for a cheap laugh. Shame on you if that was what you were thinking.

GWS led by 21 points in the second quarter, which is also their average age, before letting the Pies back in, despite Collingwood having no interchange bench due to injury.

While a lot is made about the Pies winning despite the injuries, the Giants had their fair share of players out and had to tough it out against Melbourne with no players left last week (ok it’s Melbourne).

I’m also told that Tom Scully’s dad had a rather nasty head cold.

West Coast (119) v Melbourne (53)

Last week, Paul Roos said it looked like some of his players had ‘put the cue in the rack’.

This week it looked like they'd left it there, back in Melbourne.

It may seem the players have given up on Roos, but the reality is that he’s given up on many of them.

He knows who is going, he’s got the list, and he’s already checked it twice.

In a few weeks many will be gone and Roos will need to attract players he can trust to not destroy his legacy.

For West Coast, this keeps their finals chances alive.

They took control early and smashed the Dees for three quarters. In the last quarter, they took the foot off the pedal a bit, which could hurt their percentage.

The Eagles travel to the Gold Coast next week and need results to go their way and a good percentage boost to clinch a finals berth.

Lucky for them, I've done some sophisticated analysis and determined that the Suns don't play well without Gary Ablett. I need my own war room Foxtel.

Hawthorn (94) v Geelong (71)

Chris Scott said after the match that this was 'Mission Accomplished'.

Who knew he was such a keen student of US/Iraqi relations?

This was definitely 'mission accomplished' in the sense that it wasn't and doesn't bode well for the future.

A better phrase would have been 'what the hell happened?'

Geelong dominated the first half with 100 more possessions and led by 31 points at the main break.

Then Alastair Clarkson gave the Hawks an old fashioned spray and did some ‘coaching stuff’ and everything changed.

The Hawks started to tackle, chase and even try.

Such was their fear of Clarkson they led by the third and completed a 56 point turnaround in under two quarters.

This was despite Selwood gathering the umpires in at three quarter time and urging them to lift.

So, I'm still unsure what mission was accomplished by the Cats.

It seemed to be giving confidence to the opponent who you'll probably meet in the Preliminary Final.

On a side note, during the match, a controversial score review resulted in Sam Mitchell being denied a goal.

From the angle Channel Seven showed us, it looked like it was a miscarriage of justice.

The AFL later got very angry at Channel 7 for not showing all angles of the goal review, including one they say clearly shows it wasn’t a goal.

All good for the AFL to get angry at Channel Seven about this, but seem pretty quiet on the whole game being in Standard Definition when the fans want it in High Definition.

Get your priorities straight AFL.

Brisbane (48) v Fremantle (106)

Unlike the Adelaide teams, Fremantle seemed to cope well with the dangerous Queensland weather.

This really showed the gulf in class between the top and the bottom sides, with the Dockers having about forty players out.

No Fyfe, Pavlich or Barlow didn’t seem to bother Freo. You put those players in any bottom eight teams and they would challenge for the eight.

Aren’t the AFL’s equalisation efforts going well?

The Lions presented about as much scoring threat as a Paul Roos coached team in this one.

They should use all that COLA they have to buy a few key forwards. That’s right isn’t it?

Western Bulldogs (67) v Sydney (130)

The Swans are a wonderful case study in how free agency is helping those long term struggling teams. You have to go back all the way to 2012 for their last Premiership.

Thanks to free agency, they could challenge this year for the Premiership. An amazing turnaround and a wonderful case study on how to rebuild your list.

Just think of the celebration if that drought is broken.

Lance Franklin booted six goals and has really proven the doubters wrong. He only needs to produce these results for eight more years and it will all have been worth it.

This game also presented the Swans with a great opportunity to see Jake Stringer up close, before pinching him in a few years.

The Dogs showed plenty of fight and character in this one, despite the final score.

They're never going to be able to ask for a priority pick if they keep that up. What are they thinking? Madness.

Richmond (98) v St Kilda (72)

So Richmond's season is now perfectly poised to crush every Tigers supporters' hopes and dreams.

But as you all know, I always like to focus on the positives and I say Richmond fans should be getting their hopes up, as high as they can go.

The Tigers winning next week will be a mere formality, surely? Just take it easy Richmond faithful, it’s in the bag.

What’s that? Jinx you? Me?

Oh, you’re probably a bit superstitious after everything that’s happened over the last thirty years. Understandable.

The Tiges were good in this one, never really being challenged by the pretty horrendous St Kilda.

Jack Riewoldt kicked six and reminded me a lot of a young Jack Riewoldt.

The Saints were terrible and Alan Richardson must be wondering about his life choices. The Saints have a very long road ahead of them.

That said, they’re not in the truly terrifying position Richmond fans now find themselves in.