Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Richmond (95) v Essendon (77)

Jokes about Richmond finishing ninth are about as original as a new home renovation series, but here's the thing; they make you do it.

No matter how hard you try, you find them forming in your mind.

Here are Richmond, hopeless early in the season now making a run that could see them fall just short of the finals.

If they do finish ninth, the interwebs may explode.

It's like Brett Deledio and Ivan Maric being injured early on made a difference. Shock.

As for Essendon, this was a costly loss, leaving them clinging to eighth.

It's almost as if their minds were elsewhere, not that a Federal Court case on which you career may hang could ever be a distraction.

More likely, this was one of the games Bomber Thompson is contractually obligated to lose so that he looks good, but not ‘I’m a way better option than James’ good.

Greater Western Sydney (51) v North Melbourne (126)

Another home game for GWS in Canberra which is part of Greater Western Sydney, if you apply the broadest interpretation of the term possible.

I suppose Perth is part of Greater Western Sydney too, if we apply the same logic.

Given that North are North, this was actually a real test, given their habit of losing against low sides.

Happily for North fans, this was a test they actually passed, which is a nice change of pace.

Of course, GWS had already sent half their list off for surgery, so it wasn't a full strength team.

Not that they're tanking. They hardly need more first round draft picks, although they could do with another key forward, I suppose.

Every bouncer’s best friend, Toby Greene, had 35 touches in his 50th game. What a heartwarming story!

Overall, this year has been disappointing for the Giants. The good news is, nobody has seen them.

Carlton (97) v Gold Coast (58)

Has anyone ever noticed that the Suns don't seem to be as good without Gary Ablett?

What's that? All of you have? And you've mentioned it hundreds of times?

Dammit, that was my big insight of the round.

Even losing a player of Gary's ability doesn't explain what's happened to the Suns.

Their disinterest in tackling and pursuing opponents, even made Carlton look good, with Chris Judd looking like the superstar of old.

He should definitely play on next year if the Blues can arrange that they only play the Suns.

Thankfully, the Blues seem to have also got through the weekend without any injuries from an early morning brawl.

At least, according to what the players tell us.

Hawthorn (115) v Melbourne (65)

Not a good week for the expansion teams, with the Giants, Suns and Demons all losing.

The Demons seem to be the one that needs the most work.

Following this game, Melbourne lodged a bullying claim with Worksafe against Hawthorn.

If the Melbourne players are auditioning for a position in next year’s team, it seems a lot are hoping to miss out.

Can you have individual players tanking within a team that is also tanking?

Oh my, I think I just broke my brain. Layers within layers.

Too many Melbourne players just don’t work hard enough, it’s not ‘psychological scars’ or the fact Norm Smith got sacked, its effort pure and simple.

Let’s not complicate things. Sometimes people just aren’t very good at their jobs, like Evan in accounts.

Look for Paul Roos to turnover this list with the enthusiasm usually only seen when Bruce McAvaney sees Cyril within fifty metres of the ball.

Hawthorn barely seemed to get out of first gear. This was an effortless performance by the Hawks marred by Jarryd Roughead’s brutal trip of Dom Tyson.

Never have I seen such a heinous act.

A life ban should definitely be considered. Dom could have gotten a slight bruise.

Melbourne sources say Dom Tyson has been sent to see a specialist hairdresser to asses any structural damage to his haircut.

Port Adelaide (58) v Sydney (84)

It’s some luxury when you can sub off Kurt Tippett and have you’re nine million dollar man well held and still win relatively easily.

I blame, not so much COLA, but Sydney running a good club. How dare they? That sort of behaviour makes it unfair on the rest of the competition.

Port Adelaide has lost their mojo. It’s probably behind the couch on the Sunrise set.

Ken Hinkley is an obvious failure in my view, until they start winning again and I go back to being a lifelong fan who has never, ever criticised him.

Geelong (81) v Fremantle (79)

What a game! A big thank you to both teams for briefly distracting me from my normal Saturday night loneliness, staring at a wall and wondering where it all went wrong.

Of course, the most amazing thing of the night was not the 31-14 free kick count but the fact we caught a rare glimpse of a Ross Lyon smile near the end of the game.

It was actually a nice smile and I think Ross should consider using it more often. He almost seemed human.

This was a willing affair with a few reports coming out of it.

Fremantle did everything to stop Steve Johnson’s impact on the game, even ripping his top at one point, which surprisingly didn’t lead to Brian Taylor to yell ‘eye candy’.

Perhaps his recent counselling on modern day sexuality has made him a bit averse to wading into such topics.

Speaking of Channel Seven’s commentary, it was clear that they’ve been given a fairly stern ‘tone it all down’ talking to.

For large parts of the game, they actually focused on the football and were subdued compared to normal. It was actually bearable.

Of course, Luke Darcy had to spoil it all by wearing leather gloves during the pre-game.

You’re not OJ Luke.

Brisbane (63) v Adelaide (168)

In brutal 25-degree heat (according to Brenton Sanderson), the Crows dismantled the hapless Lions.

Brisbane has actually been ok lately, but the long season seems to have caught up with them and they were simply smashed across the ground.

Of course, Tom Rockliff still managed 40 disposals, 10 marks, 10 tackles and a goal in a side that was very poor.

He is a one-man wrecking ball.

Adelaide’s Taylor Walker managed six goals, but the ball was coming down there so often you kind of expected it.

This win really puts Adelaide in the eight and with a real chance of playing finals thanks to a significant percentage boost.

Next week the Crows take on Richmond, in the battle of the ‘I leave my homework to the last minute’ teams.

St Kilda (99) v Western Bulldogs (122)

The round of the match had a lot to live up to and it didn’t let us down.

Then there was this game.

First off, I do have to give credit to the St Kilda supporters for turning out in force for this game to see Lenny off. A good effort (see, I can be nice).

Of course, those mean Western Bulldogs spoiled Lenny’s final home game with an encouraging performance from a team that has been slowly improving all year.

Jake Stringer was the star for the Bulldogs and some of the goals he kicked make you wonder how good this twenty-year-old can be.

I think he can be ‘poached by Sydney in a few years’ good.

The Saints game back late in the game, but there is no hiding the fact they lack class, even against the Bulldogs.

I struggle to see where the improvement is coming from the Saints.

The fact the Board ticked off a strategy that says they’ll win a Premiership before 2020, feels a bit like they painted a big old target on their back.

West Coast (126) v Collingwood (66)

Don’t worry Pies fans, your building to win a Premiership sometime in the future and all that.

Sure, the Eagles aren’t very good, but you only just lost by sixty points with the finals on the line.

The flight home from Perth was a sombre one for the Pies, with the focus being on whether to go to Bali or Thailand in September. Heritier Lumumba suggested Tibet.

Matt Priddis had 42 disposals and every time you mention him, make sure you bang on about him being underrated. You could be hired as a commentator before you know it.

You have to wonder about Collingwood’s midfield when they get smashed by West Coast’s.

For West Coast, this continues their ‘we are only ok’, season.

They just aren’t consistent enough to challenge this year.

Given the cost of living in WA, I’d be screaming for some COLA if I was them. A coffee in Perth is about $70 if Twitter is to be believed.