Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Adelaide (92) v Hawthorn (104)

We kicked off a weekend of controversy for 1980s broadcaster Channel Seven, with umpire Razor Ray Chamberlain mishearing the siren and blaming it on a 'retarded' noise in his ear.

Apparently, Adelaide Oval is so loud you cannot hear the siren and also think you've heard the siren.

Of course the controversy over the comment 'retarded' was nothing compared to Ray then telling Sam Mitchell that he didn't write the rule book he just read it.

Why lie on national TV Ray? We all know you've never read it.

Hawthorn returned to form here with a very good win over a disappointing but improving Crows side.

Patrick Dangerfield had 27 contested possessions which I imagine is more than Melbourne, St Kilda and Collingwood had combined this week.

Melbourne (36) v Geelong (102)

Geelong enjoyed a much needed week off against the Dees and may have needed to do an intraclub match after the game to keep fitness levels up.

Both the wet conditions and the sporting code both suited Geelong.

Tom Hawkins dominated a James Frawley who looked like he'd already left the Demons. Frawley would be lucky to command a free T-shirt in his new contract, with the way he’s been playing.

Melbourne reverted to that style of play they do where they basically don't break out of a slow jog and then wonder why Geelong have loose men everywhere.

Paul Roos spent most of the game on the phone to AFL headquarters demanding more money.

North Melbourne (92) v St Kilda (33)

St Kilda seemed to pick up the gauntlet Melbourne threw down to see who was least interested in playing this week.

Like the previous game, to call this a training drill would be to underestimate how tough AFL training is at some teams.

North just did what they wanted while St Kilda looked like the whole thing was a massive inconvenience. Turned out it wouldn’t have mattered if Drew Petrie had been rubbed out for this one.

In fact, you could have rested your senior side against the Saints.

Western Bulldogs (94) v Gold Coast (66)

No Gary no Gold Coast? Maybe.

I like to think the Suns have shown us they can lose with Gary too. We should give them credit for this flexibility.

In his absence, the role of Gary Ablett was played by the Bulldogs’ Jack Macrae, who had a 43-disposal game, including two crucial goals in the last quarter. Not a bad effort for a 19 year old who was told last week he’d been letting the team down in a few areas.

Personally, if someone had of criticised me publicly in that manner, I would have responded by sulking in my room for 30-odd years and starting a rather pointless blog.

The Bulldogs have to be pretty happy with the way things are travelling at the moment.

Earlier this year, they seemed to be heading in the direction of Robin Thicke’s career, but there now seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

Brisbane (64) v West Coast (76)

Imagine if Brisbane had a forward line! They could get as high as twelfth if they did.

Unfortunately, inaccuracy in front of goal and a poor second half cost them this one.

This was a terrible game and any claims that this keeps the Eagles in the Finals hunt must be from people who didn’t see it.

I watched the whole game, mainly because I was sulking in my room.

Sydney (122) v Carlton (51)

Mick Malthouse said the Swans were the best list he’d seen in his years in the game and on Saturday night his team set about proving it.

Carlton, hung in there for the first half, but they were in fifth gear while the Swans were in first.

In the second half, it was all the Swans with that Lance Franklin guy kicking five of the Swans ten goals in the third quarter.

It’s enough to make those AFL club Presidents who approved the Cost of Living Allowance complain that it’s unfair.

Buddy showed that despite all the nonsense he is a brilliant footballer and it was great to watch.

By the fourth quarter, Carlton looked less interested than Brian Taylor did during his apology at half time.

Richmond (126) v Port Adelaide (106)

The social experiment in mental torture that is the Richmond Football Club, continued on this weekend.

In true Richmond fashion, after building up their fans hopes before the season, then subsequently destroying them for 16 rounds, they turn in this performance.

It’s no wonder Richmond fans live in an eternal twilight of hope and despair.

As for Port, it seems they can run out games, but not the season. In a perfect case study of peaking at the wrong end of the season, the Power look like a shell of their former selves.

Ken Hinkley’s face looked exactly like it does when they are going well, but you can still tell he wasn’t happy.

It will be very interesting to see if Port can find their confidence again. I bet David Koch has some spare to give them.

Essendon (103) v Collingwood (39)

With this game, I believe Eddie’s master plan of replacing Malthouse with Buckley has finally delivered.

We woke up this morning in a world were both Carlton and Collingwood are terrible. This is the stuff of dreams.

While much must be said of Essendon’s effort and continuing improvement in recent weeks, it’s hard not to notice how disinterested in the contest Collingwood appeared.

As a passionate Melbourne supporter, I recognise not trying instinctively.

Collingwood just had too many players not interested and those that were giving it a go, like Pendlebury, had an off day.

It would be easy to focus on individual performances like Travis Cloke’s, but the truth is that Collingwood has been struggling as a team for a while now and it’s hard to perform when the majority of the team are mentally on holiday.

Essendon must have kept wondering when the Pies would start to counter attack but it never came.

Jake Carlisle finally ended the long and pointless criticism of him by taking 19 marks and being best on ground.

Essendon’s massive thumping of Collingwood has propelled them into the eight which must have the folks at AFL Headquarters beyond delighted.

Fremantle (136) v Greater Western Sydney (60)

Fremantle is improving at the right time and seem well on track to lose to Sydney in the Grand Final.

Fremantle just dominated the Giants, who tried in patches, but lacked the class and ruthless organisation of the Dockers.

Pavelich returned with three goals and when Anthony Morabito came on as a sub, the crowd gave him a standing ovation in the highlight of the match.

In a clear example that Ross Lyon does have a sense of humour, he had Ryan Crowley tag Tom Scully.