Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You've come to the right place.

Carlton v Collingwood

Ever seen footage of a man throwing his players under a bus? Just watch Mick's post match media conference.

It turns out everything at Carlton is the players' fault not Mick's.

It seems weird to me that Mick said this club was at ’11 o’clock’ in Round one, on that idiotic ‘Premiership Clock’ people keep mentioning.

Has the ‘Premiership Clock’ been thrown out the ‘Premiership Window?’

Now Mick’s blaming the team he’s got for his coaching performance. That seems wonderfully convenient.

Collingwood's coaching transition and player turnover appears to be working.

How depressing for the rest of us. I wanted to live in a world where it was a train wreck and we could all mock Pies supporters as the came in to clean the office.

Unfortunately, Nathan Buckley seems dangerously like someone who knows what he’s doing.

Hawthorn v St Kilda

I'm a hardened Melbourne fan and I thought I'd been desensitised to things like this.

This was brutal. Like Kylie singing at the Logies brutal.

People were crying in the stands and counselling was made available from quarter time on.

I know St Kilda are rebuilding but be careful. Losses like this quickly lead to a rebuild of the rebuild. Trust me.

As for Hawthorn, we all know they’re definitely going to win the Premiership but this wasn't even a training session for them. Those require effort and being tackled at Hawthorn.

Under variable ticketing, if you watched this game, you can invoice the AFL for your time.

Greater Western Sydney v Port Adelaide

Ehh. Not much to see here. GWS didn't look great but didn't look terrible either.

Port looked like a team who had smashed Geelong the week before and were in third gear all game. Ollie Wines continues to make me wish the Demons could recruit properly.

Adelaide v Melbourne

Paul Roos is absolutely worth the $1.5 million a season the AFL is giving Melbourne, to then give to him.

If you’re team is struggling, I totally recommend you asking the AFL for lots of money to buy a Paul Roos.

The Demons have picked up a new tactic this year 'trying'. Turns out if you don't hate your coach and he gives you a bit of an idea of what to do, miracles can happen.

Adelaide are terrible. They had the more skillful players but they seem to only be interested in cameo roles.

An obvious exception is Patrick Dangerfield. This man is a machine.

Unlike every other free agent you hear about, he's worth whatever he's asking for.

Brisbane v Sydney

I watched a lot of this game. Why? I guess it's due to poor life choices.

It's always hard for Brisbane to win away from Wellington. They looked ok for most of the first half before Sydney seemed to realise the game had started.

What to make of Sydney? They got the job done without 'the most expensive forward line ever', read 'most overpaid'.

Beyond that there is still something 'off' about the Swans.

Essendon v Western Bulldogs

Essendon are not very good. There I said it, let the hate mail begin.

At points of this game, I really thought they were going to lose and they'd be looking for an interim-interim coach.

The Bulldogs showed glimpse of improvement but I'm not sure what the timeline is on them being good again.

It's very easy for a few seasons to go by and you suddenly realise 'hey we're not rebuilding at all, we just suck.'

North Melbourne v Gold Coast

North had to get the job done and they did.

Wow. Just wow. Brad Scott makes things unpredictable, I'll give him that.

Credit where credit is due, Brad didn't make excuses about the roof or the alignment of the stars.

He simply said he had no idea what was causing the Roos’ fluctuation in form.

That's a bit like going to the doctor and they say 'I've got no idea what that is. It’s not good though.'

Not exactly comforting.

Gary Ablett seems to be really good at football. He's one of the few players who can influence a game with his own will.

Gold Coast are showing that you can build a decent team when the AFL give every good player to one club for a few seasons. GWS take note.

Geelong v Richmond

I unfortunately went to this game. I say unfortunately, as it was sad to watch the end of the Tigers' season.

That said, the Richmond fans seemed pretty hardened to the inevitable outcome. Rather than crying, there was a lot of staring into the distance, like someone who has seen untold horrors too many times.

Of course the really ‘Richmond-y’ thing about this, is just as there season is ending, the Tiger’s started to play some good footy.

Geelong didn't exactly look great. The condition weren't good but not so bad as to explain the missed targets and the large parts of the game were they were second to the ball.

After being belted by Port, you’d expect them to have smashed Richmond into the next century. Worrying signs.

West Coast v Fremantle

So my maths goes like this, West Coast are terrible, West Coast could have beaten Fremantle if they’d kicked straight, therefore Fremantle is terrible.

Well, maybe not terrible but not up to last year’s standards. Now, I’ve already received the emails telling me that Fremantle are building and are really much better than the appear.

The other scenario though is that Pavlich and Sandilands are ageing and team discipline (or lack thereof) is an indicator of a team not as focused as before.

I tend to think we are trending towards the latter. Of course, my main bit of evidence for this, is the fact Ross Lyon seems to be smiling more in interviews.

This should worry Dockers’ fans terribly. Focus Ross! We don’t pay you to be happy.