Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Sydney (148) v Geelong (38)

Buddy Franklin is ruining the culture of this club. Although not really.

It's terrible that the Swans use the money the AFL say they're allowed to use. What cheats!

If the Channel Seven commentary was anything to go by, the Swans were handed the Premiership cup straight after this game. The rest of the season is just pointless except for determining the order of the draft.

As for Geelong, it's important to note they had played a lot recently with travel over to Perth.

A team like Sydney wouldn't understand the gruelling nature of interstate travel.

I'm not one to overact but the Geelong era is over, forever. Perhaps it was all just a dream.

St Kilda (54) v Collingwood (140)

So St Kilda may not be very good. It's taken me until round 11 to decide this because I'm the calm, measured type.

The obvious calm, measured response from St Kilda would be to sack everyone.

Collingwood passed a big test, proving to us all they could beat St Kilda. Travis Cloke showed that he can help Collingwood this season if they run into St Kilda in the finals.

It’s nice to know we don't need a tribunal anymore, with the Channel Seven commentary team quickly passing judgement that Steele Sidebottom will get three weeks for his errant elbow. They even grade the incident. Such professionals.

This new system is going to save a lot of time.

Melbourne (75) v Port Adelaide (95)

Melbourne members have ordered more bronze for the Paul Roos statue, creating a worldwide shortage.

Word is the eight storey statue captures Roos' smile by using the ivory of 4000 elephants.

Port can win the Premiership this year. They didn't play well and still won which is a great sign.

Not to detract from Port's rise but on TV the Adelaide Oval looked more like a country footy oval. It didn't even seem that loud.

Brisbane (98) v Carlton (91)

So this was a lot of fun. Not for Carlton fans but for everyone else.

Malthouse seems more focused on whinging about CEOs leaving and arguing with the media than coaching.

There is a downside to all this though. It means Eddie was right to move him on.

It was nice to see Brisbane get a win away from 'Fortress Wellington'.

The Lions were overdue, as they'd actually shown a lot of effort in earlier games despite lacking the composure to last all four quarters.

Luckily, against Carlton you don't need to be focused for all four quarters.

Essendon (105) v Richmond (54)

It was Dreamtime at G, right up until the opening bounce.

Richmond then turned in the sort of performance that makes footy journos relieved, given they now know what they'll write about all week.

The Tigers' players adopted an interesting tactic of going nowhere near their direct opponent. Turns out that doesn't work very well.

Essendon looked amazing. The win should give them a real injection of confidence.

That said, it's pretty easy to rack up a big score when your opponent decides the defence side of the game is an optional extra.

Adelaide (109) v Gold Coast (77)

So this Tex Walker guy seems pretty good. Not since Tony Shaw ran into a tree has there been such a feel good footy story.

My view is that having Tex back in the team for the Crows ‘straightens them up’. This is the new way of saying ‘gives them someone to kick to up forward.’

You've got to love how footy commentators keep finding new ways of trying to make themselves sound smart by saying things that are completely inaccessible to new fans.

Way to grow the game fellas!

Gary Ablett is obviously past it. Last week he had 24 possessions, this week only 25 and two goals.

Just shocking stats. Time to get rid of him.

Western Bulldogs (51) v Fremantle (89)

You have to love Etihad Stadium. It rained all night before the game so they left the roof open. Only to close it that morning, leaving the ground greasy and wet.

I bet someone just couldn't be bothered getting up the night before, driving in and closing it.

Etihad Stadium spokesperson Bill Lane showed he had neither played in, nor watched the game when he said "We were of the view that the ground played well."

I have no idea what to make of the Bulldogs. They had more possessions, inside 50s, the whole enchilada, and lost by 38 points.

Fremantle continue to not impress. Sure they won convincingly but watching this, you felt if the Bulldogs has the smallest amount of polish the score could have been reversed.

Hawthorn (94) v Greater Western Sydney (87)

Who knew? GWS just needed to come up against an injury depleted Hawthorn with an interim coach to restore some confidence.

Credit where credit is due, the Giants looked nothing like the NEAFL side they've been in recent weeks. Makes you wonder, what have they been up to all this time?

Hawthorn truly have a good excuse for this one. When most of your team isn't playing you do tend to suffer a bit.

If it wasn't for the serious nature of Alastair Clarkson’s illness, we could all be enjoying this.

West Coast (44) v North Melbourne (82)

What the hell North Melbourne?

Just when I confine you to the dust bin of history, you do this. North Melbourne make no sense to me at all.

I am of the firm opinion they've been designed just to ruin people’s tips.

West Coast are just bad. This was an insipid performance and made me really wonder what is going on with them.

That said, it’s always hard to beat North Melbourne in Western Australia.

Also, I should add a big congratulations to Fox Footy, for their focus on Majak Daw and Nic Naitanui in the pregame show. Just a terrific way to acknowledge the Indigenous Round.

Sorry, what’s that? Oh really? Fiji and Sudan? Different places are they? I guess North Melbourne and West Coast didn't have any indigenous players to focus on then.