Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Hawthorn (135) v Adelaide (61)

Before we get into things, what’s with the sudden bizarre spate of ‘deliberate out of bounds’ calls?

In the past you could go centuries without seeing one. A player would have to actually yell out ‘I’m doing this on purpose’ to actually get one paid against them.

Suddenly though, in one of those bizarre crackdowns umpires do from time to time, every time the ball dribbles over the line it seems to be called.

There was another cracker in this game but it’s part of a broader stupid trend. Stop it umpires.

To the game itself, which was typical of the AFL; scheduling another terrible game on a Friday night.

This game really showed that those people writing Hawthorn off obviously know nothing about football. I would have never done something like that, especially not less than a week ago in a Wednesday column.

If week one of the finals was a blockbuster success, this week was it’s disappointing sequel.

This first game was disappointing because it was over before it really started and the Saturday night game was terrible because its skills were more something you’d usually see in the NAB Challenge.

The Hawks were just relentless from the opening bounce and the Crows cracked under pressure like Mal Meninga launching a political career.

There were a few notable exceptions. Geelong’s Patrick Dangerfield was great and Scott Thompson, Rory Laird and Josh Jenkins all played well.

Unfortunately, there were just too many weak links in the chain and the Hawks just exploited them.

Eddie Betts did a Trent Cotchin impression and Tex Walker was so bad he played James Frawley into form.

It’s sad to see the Crows go out like this but it’s certainly true that they’ve won plenty of admirers in what has been a season like no other.

The thing about the Hawks is that you can’t give them any opportunity, let alone let them stroll down the center square like it’s some beach boulevard.

The Crows combined a lack of pressure on the Hawks with turning over the ball when Adelaide did get it, a bad combination.

Elbowing and drinking driving aficionado Luke Hodge, showed why the Hawks took the expedient option and played him rather than make a statement about road safety.

Hawthorn now head over to Perth for the Festival of Western Australian Footy.

They’ve shown that when doubted they are even more dangerous, so let’s all spend the week pumping up their tyres.

Sydney (51) v North Melbourne (77)

Now we cross to the worst stadium in the known universe.

Shortly before this game, I heard future Brownlow Medalist Robin Nahas was an out and I instantly thought the Roos were no chance. Footy surprises you though.

In some cases, it surprises you when it really shouldn’t. North winning here really shouldn’t have been a surprise. They’ve been in better form recently, the Swans had big outs and the Kangaroos made the Preliminary Final last year.

It was a surprise to me though.

For some reason, I just haven’t been able to bring myself to trust the Roos. Years of inconsistency have not only ruined my tips on an almost weekly basis; it’s also left me with trust issues.

It makes me wonder, are North Melbourne actually good? I know it’s a crazy idea but people thought Copernicus was crazy when he formulated a model of the universe that placed the Sun rather than the Earth at the center of the universe.

Suggesting North Melbourne are good is just as big a shift in thinking, if not bigger. It’s a ‘paradigm shift’, as dumb people who want to sound smart say.

The real sign North may actually be good is that Jarryd Waite is playing well when it matters.

It shows you the nature’s iron clad rule that ‘anyone who leaves Carlton is instantly a superstar’ works here too.

This is a big step for me but I’m now ready to take it; North Melbourne are actually a really good team.

Sydney however not so much. Injuries, a fanciful trade ban and general decline saw the Swans put an end to a season they would probably prefer to forget.

It wasn’t a good night.

Lewis Jetta confirmed he is a specialist at going missing in September and he should really be off to Richmond not West Coast next season.

What’s changed for the Swans is their role players, a past strength, are now more and more just passengers.

Rhys Shaw’s retirement underlines this as he was a good example of a player doing exactly what was expected of him each week.

Adam Goodes is a different case. He is a superstar of the game and what’s happened to him this year has been one of the saddest things I’ve seen in football.

I’ve never been in the ‘Goodes is a saint’ camp. He’s human and at times has done a few things I haven’t loved on the field but it’s pretty hard to name a footy star who hasn’t done similar or worse. Hodge would have lapped him on this year alone.

The reality is that the booing of Goodes took a nasty shift this season and unfortunately a lot of people didn’t pick up that this made it something it may not have always been.

It did become racist. I’m sorry if you were one of the people doing it for ‘pure’ reasons but idiots coopting things is a pretty regular occurrence.

For example, the Future Music Festival finishing up because a bunch bare chested idiots ruined it.

The news Goodes is not doing a lap of honour, unfortunately shows again that idiots in big enough numbers can achieve things.

It’s the same phenomenon that explains why we’ve had eleven series of Big Brother.

North are now off to Perth and it will be interesting to see how they’ll go against the Eagles.

The sad outcome though is that there are no Preliminary Finals in Melbourne this year.

I’m disgusted this has happened. What is this, a national competition?