Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Hawthorn v Geelong

The last time these two sides met in a final, Katy Perry's Roar was the number one song in the country, Tony Abbott was Prime Minister, Channel Seven showed football in Standard Definition and Essendon were embroiled in a supplement saga.

Yes, it was the heady days of September 2013. We were all so innocent back then.

Unlike way back then, Geelong has slipped compared to the Hawks.

The Cats were competitive early, with Joel Selwood almost single handedly keeping Geelong in it against a dominant Hawthorn midfield.

As the game progressed, it became clear the Hawks just had more talent.

They probably also did something better with their ‘structures’ and ‘handball receives’ (I don’t know what any of that means either).

Mark Robinson's love interest, Jordan Lewis kicked three and Sam Mitchell once again showed that if anything, he’s underrated.

Tom Hawkins learnt that it's easier to kick goals against Brisbane than against a Premiership favourite. He was well held all night by everyone's favourite neck massager Brian Lake.

You knew the Cats were in real trouble in the second half when Chris Scott threw Harry Taylor forward, the AFL equivalent of sending your goalie up for a penalty.

Hawthorn now gets the week off, while the Cats face North Melbourne on Friday night at the MCG.

Apparently, the coaches from Geelong and North Melbourne are related in some way. I’m not sure how because no one seems to ever mention it.

Sydney (93) v Fremantle (69)

Now this game shows what free agency is all about! Helping those struggling teams get ahead.

Buddy Franklin broke the game open with two spectacular goals, sending 35,998 people, shoehorned into the wonderfully awful ANZ Stadium, into rapture.

The ANZ Stadium surface looked up to its usual ‘small town agricultural show’ standard. It was covered in a layer of water too, that at times made me fear that someone could have drowned.

A lesser person than I would have used this fact to rattle off a slew of ‘diving’ jokes, but I’m above that.

This was a dour struggle for most of the game, or as commentators call it in these moments ‘an intriguing contest.’

Fremantle were competitive for three quarters, but lacked some key players such as Luke McPharlin and Michael Johnson and the polish of the Swans.

The Dockers just seem a level below where they were last season.

I can imagine a world where they get past the Power next week, but not one where they beat Hawthorn then Sydney.

That said, I can imagine a world where the Demons make the finals again, so there’s clearly something a bit wrong with me.

By the way, don’t touch Ross Lyon cause he’s close to the edge.

North Melbourne v Essendon

Saturday night saw Essendon ‘exodus’ the finals (clever huh! See what I did there? Not really that good? Oh. OK).

This was really the match of the week, with both sides looking like they could win it until the final moments.

You could tell it was tense because Bomber Thompson wasn’t slumped against the wall in the coaches’ box, like someone waiting for a bus.

Early on it was all Essendon and you could tell at AFL House they were pressing the buttons that give umpires secret signals through electric shocks, pretty hard in panic.

At half time, Brad Scott enacted the ‘George Costanza strategy,’ where you do the exact opposite of everything you’re doing.

Suddenly, North was running, kicking and chasing. It was really something to see.

Ben Brown showed he’s just not a guy with an unfortunate haircut and kicked three in the third quarter. His performance was pivotal in turning the game.

Between him and Joe Daniher, who also played very well, there’s a shampoo marketing opportunity if ever I saw one (and I’ve seen a lot).

The fourth quarter was a classic with both sides looking like pinching it.

When Paddy Ryder kicked a goal late, Brisbane fans were on their feet.

With four minutes left, Drew Petrie, kicked two goals, ending the magical fairytale that has been the Essendon Football Club in 2014.

It was a terrific win for the Kangaroos. So much so, I wish I knew a North Melbourne supporter, so I could congratulate them.

Port Adelaide v Richmond

Oh dear.

No one predicted this, except for experienced Richmond supporters.

The Tiger army had made their way to Adelaide in great numbers, leaving an alcohol shortage in their wake.

Trent Cotchin made the decision to kick into the wind in the first quarter, sealing the Tigers fate.

If the Tigers had kicked with the wind in the first quarter they would have won by twenty goals, easily. That’s just science.

Richmond, emotionally spent after doing everything to make the finals, looked a shell of their recent selves.

Port just had too much space, allowing them to employ their deadly running game.

Before quarter time, Tiger fans at the ground would have been wondering if they should try to beat the traffic.

The sad thing is, this played out exactly as the Richmond stereotype would have you believe and it was still shocking to watch.

While Richmond put some effort in later in the game, it was really all over by quarter time.

I think Ken Hinkley spent the second half watching the Swans v Freo game to prepare for next week.

Port Adelaide looked really good, but don’t be fooled. Richmond gave them so much space, they did as they pleased, against Hawthorn or Sydney you would never get that amount of space.

Credit where credit’s due though, Port were ruthless when they needed to be.

Next week against Fremantle promises to be a cracker.

The game was a disappointment really, but presented a great opportunity for Power fans to display that humble nature in victory that they're so known for.

I’m sure every Richmond fan at Adelaide Oval will tell you that’s exactly what they did.