Recently, several things have become clear to me. For starters, AFL games are too long these days.

Even worse are the uniforms. They’re too bright and the shorts are too long.

Watching GWS play hurts my eyes and it’s not just their skills. Don’t start me on the umpire’s uniforms.

I’ve even heard people calling for footy to be shown in High Definition. Didn’t we learn from the mistake of moving to colour broadcasts?

In my opinion, the wireless is still the best medium for football.

The TV coverage today is too loud and all those graphics make me nauseous.

And why do we have eighteen commentators? Two at most is all we need.

There appears to be an IQ test to be a commentator these days. Get over 80 and you’re out.

Footy players are also too young these days. Why do they still play computer games as adults? Do they play with toy cars and dolls too?

Computer games are for children.

In my day we played bridge and only after chores. If we were bored we organised backyard-boxing matches or wood chopping competitions.

Boxing doesn’t ruin your brain like computer games do.

I really worry about the future of this country.

This was once a proud agricultural and manufacturing nation.

Now we just do ‘services’ like finance and marketing. We have become a country selling fairy dust.

We will be eaten alive one day.

If you ask me it’s the Internet’s fault. And smart phones.

A man used to be able to leave the office and not be contacted for several hours.

Now people get upset if you don’t respond to an email in two minutes or immediately answer their phone call. If they are so busy and important, why are they playing games on their phone all day?

Since when did being in contact with everyone you know, all the time, become desirable?

The days of the machines enslaving us are already here.

Anyway, I’m very happy with our preseason and expect big things this year.