Jun 16, 2014

AFL

Melbourne confirm Paul Roos statue made of Range Rovers

2 Comments

Melbourne Football Club President Glen Bartlett said a 1,805 metre high statue of Paul Roos would be made of thousands of crushed Range Rovers.

The hair will be made out of a mixture of Panda and Panther hair and the teeth will consist of ivory.

"We've won four whole games this season, so it's fitting we commemorate these heady days," said Mt Bartlett.

“The statue will be as high as our spiritual home, Mt Buller.”

“Turns out that’s quite high and it’s going to be extremely expensive.”

Luckily, most Melbourne members have a couple of spare Range Rovers at home to donate.

“I’ve got a few in the back of the garage at my summer home,” said long-term Demons member Sebastian Smithfield-Jones.

“They can have my really old one, I only drove it once. It’s a 2012 model, if memory serves.”

The Demons said the statue would also house the Paul Roos Business School.

“It will provide university degrees to private school students who can’t get accepted based on merit.”

The AFL also confirmed they would supplement the majority of the cost of the statue.

“You pay for the coach, you pay for the statue,” said Gillon McLachlan.

“Weirdly it’s in our by-laws. It will probably bankrupt us but not before Greater Western Sydney does.”

COMMENTS

Demonman

Jun 17, 2014

Where do I donate?? I cant find any better reason to donate my collection of elephant of tusks!!

Billious

Apr 16, 2016

If only Titus would stop writing truth and factual articles and start adding some fantasy to his stories.  This is a society that is so hung up on telling the facts as they are that it would be pleasant if someone would make up some stories  inject some creative lies and make believe into our lives just for the hell of it.