Today, the Magistrate’s Court fined me $2,500 for four counts of possessing cocaine.

The decision leaves me wondering where in the world I’ll find that kind of money.

I’ve got just over a thousand in my wallet right now, so that’s a start.

There’s at least that amount under the cushions on the couch and there’s probably a little bit more than that in one of my cars.

Actually, as I write this, I just realised this monitor is propped up by about $50,000 in cash that Swisse gave me.

So finding it isn’t actually going to be that hard I guess.

Anyway, I’ll just transfer it out of the millions of dollars the AFL gave to me for going to a couple of Auskick clinics over four years.

I must have spent almost an hour meeting people in that ambassadorial role.

This $2,500 fine and no conviction being recorded has sent me a very strong message.

If I posses drugs, I’ll have to fork over a sum of money that basically amounts to a rounding error in my bank account.

It’s clear proof how seriously this is being taken.

Let this be a warning to others, if you posses cocaine on four different occasions, be ready to pony up $2,500.

Anyway, I think I’ll pop out and buy myself a new car to cheer myself up.

UPDATE: I've just learnt the ARU has fined me $30,000 and suspended me for six weeks. They said they fined me so much more than the court because the court doesn't have sponsors and didn't ask their PR guy what the fine should be.

Six weeks of not playing reminds me of my time in the AFL. Lucrative years.