Brendon Gale: Damian, you got a second?
Damien Hardwick: Sure, but I’m not up to date on House Husbands so don’t say anything. I’ve been streaming them. You stream them over the internet.
Gale: Damien, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Hardwick: What is it?
Gale: The board look like extending your contract.
Hardwick: What’s the good news?
Gale: What? No that is the good news. The bad news is there’s a heavy performance component. Basically your package revolves around you winning a final.
Hardwick: That’s outrageous!
Gale: The board just feel that after five seasons it would be really good to win a final.
Hardwick: Why are they rushing me?
Gale: To be fair, you’ve had a decent chunk of time. Uber launched about the same time you were appointed. You’re basically pre-Uber and you still haven’t won us a single final. Whole industries have been disrupted during your tenure.
Hardwick: Well it’s easier to disrupt a global industry than win a final with Richmond.
Gale: That’s true but Damien, we’ve had about a thousand Prime Ministers in that time. Melbourne have had fifty logos!
Hardwick: But where’s the respect for what I’ve accomplished? Do you know how many memes I’ve prevented just by not finishing ninth?
Gale: I know and everyone in the social media team is really grateful. They’ve got a little shrine to you and everything. I just don’t see preventing memes as being a key performance indicator of a great coach.
Hardwick: Now who’s not keeping up with the way technology changes an industry.
Gale: Look Damien, be grateful. You lost a final to a team that didn’t make the finals. I had previously thought that was impossible.
COMMENTS
Aarontags
Dec 03, 2015
TitusOReily sparkesitup
miamiaman
Dec 03, 2015
TitusOReily 1st offical warning . Don't diss Dimmer!
Russell Gilbert
Dec 03, 2015
Declan Winra solid gold
Joe Gilmore
Dec 03, 2015
Probably should wait out until next years results
George Trumble
Dec 03, 2015
I love a classic richmond hack
Travis John
Dec 03, 2015
Lost in final to a team that hadn't made finals made me lol
Dean Yeoman
Dec 03, 2015
Hahaha very well done!
Chris Dorn
Dec 03, 2015
"You lost a final against a team that didn't make the finals." ROFL
Andrew Hopkins
Dec 03, 2015
Julia oh god U0001f602
Glenn Hay
Dec 03, 2015
BradBowman Andrew Ferguson
Travis Park
Dec 03, 2015
Brad D Weekes sounds correct to me
Simon Robinson
Dec 03, 2015
Scott Barrot Jayden Gilmour Pedro Tyrrell.well worth a read.
Julia Gauci
Dec 03, 2015
Rather him get a new contract then good old Buckley..
Andrew Hopkins
Dec 03, 2015
True, but I tagged you for the actual link. The "convo" is hilarious U0001f602
Jeremy Keysers
Dec 03, 2015
Trick Spencer Jason Howlett What's the good news?
Julia Gauci
Dec 03, 2015
The last part is the funniest.. About Richmond losing to a team who weren't in the finals LOL
Andrew Hopkins
Dec 03, 2015
Was so good. I know who would love that statement!
Cosmo Price
Dec 03, 2015
Standards of journalism on facebook are terrible - Melbourne have had 47 logos during Dimmers reign at Richmond . Exaggerating numbers is just bad journalism frankly.
Cameron Affleck
Dec 03, 2015
Ha ha hmm sad thing is the conversation probably did go along like that.
Callan Samuel
Dec 03, 2015
What's the good news hahs
Brent Watkins
Dec 03, 2015
Content quality has slipped a bit with this one
bfenna35
Dec 03, 2015
TitusOReily benchatty
Ryan Poppins
Dec 03, 2015
And with footy comes Brett Delphins favourite past time
Mia Nagel
Dec 03, 2015
Es Nagel, I love Dimma but this is funny! U0001f602U0001f602
Tony Smith
Dec 03, 2015
Heidi Visser. Can you please show this to that husband of yours!!
Ian Kelly
Dec 03, 2015
Darryl Symonds
Piper Kelly go tigers!
Alison Brown
Dec 03, 2015
Nathan Brown lol U0001f600 U0001f600
Samuel Peirce
Dec 03, 2015
You really should have given me a trigger warning that the Carlton game was going to be raised
Benjamin Tomlinson
Dec 03, 2015
Perhaps we need some sort of safe word
Samuel Peirce
Dec 03, 2015
Agree, anything as long as it's not "Jarrad", "Waite" or a combination thereof
Adam Torchia
Dec 03, 2015
yep, that's how he is getting it U0001f602
Peter Catton
Dec 03, 2015
Strict KPI adherence,
- 4 mullets on the list
- 9 sarcastic spats at reporters.
- 2,346 square centimetres of ink
All in the contract tabled, Damien has allegedly responded "4 mullets is unobtainable and Dustin's neck can't fit anymore ink".
Billy Morán Aguilera
Dec 03, 2015
Simon Minwalla superb.
Matthew Di Battista
Dec 03, 2015
Was reading this before and was considering tagging you. Didn't rate it that highly, material didn't make the cut.
I'm concerned about your standards.
#findsmostthingsfunnytypeoperator
Cameron Gorniak
Dec 03, 2015
Enjoyed Gale's last bloody ripper
Drew Duval
Dec 03, 2015
"Look Damien, be grateful. You lost a final to a team that didn’t make the finals. I had previously thought that was impossible" Top work Titus, this was Malthouse's finest hour, don't count anything he did at Collingwood.... beacuse Collingwood!
Matt Stammers
Dec 03, 2015
Lauren Stammers Pauly pops would like this!
Ben Cotter
Dec 03, 2015
Trent Hendrick too funny
Adam Kociuba
Dec 03, 2015
Chris Lappin lol
GjW33
Dec 03, 2015
TitusOReily really sharp, keep it up! It helps us all through pre season until footy can distract us from a crushingly depressive reality.
Lauren Stammers
Dec 03, 2015
Hahaha show him tomorrow
PowerBug96
Dec 03, 2015
TitusOReily It'll never get old, losing to Carlton. What a great game that was to be at.
Andrea Boots
Dec 03, 2015
Love it Ash.
Heidi Visser
Dec 03, 2015
Yep no worries!
Chris McMenamin
Dec 03, 2015
Holiday must be fun if u reading this garbage haha
Chris Vernal
Dec 03, 2015
Haha in transit yesterday
Lisa Larkin
Dec 04, 2015
Haha funny Teresa King Jackie Boyce Janine Dinnell
Scott Gelston
Dec 04, 2015
Alex Fair - the last response is pure reporting gold!
Alex Fair
Dec 04, 2015
Well it’s easier to disrupt a global industry than win a final with Richmond Scott
Rob Dunford
Dec 04, 2015
Rocky Frost Hahahahaha
Alex Fair
Dec 04, 2015
The board just feel that after five seasons it would be really good to win a final. Scott
Alex Fair
Dec 04, 2015
But where’s the respect for what I’ve accomplished? Do you know how many memes I’ve prevented just by not finishing ninth? Scott
Alex Fair
Dec 04, 2015
Look Damien, be grateful. You lost a final to a team that didn’t make the finals. I had previously thought that was impossible. Scott
Gerard Marquis
Dec 04, 2015
Surely as a subscriber you have seen this Glen Ross. Lucky Richmond supporters have a sense of humour. Stacey Heberle, Marilyn Heberle, Mel Gallagher, Ross Wintle
Mel Gallagher
Dec 04, 2015
It's not even football season and we are copping it !!
Glen Ross
Dec 04, 2015
I work for a living mate. I'll read it when I get home
Stacey Heberle
Dec 04, 2015
I love it!
Gerard Marquis
Dec 04, 2015
Glen Ross You be on your normal 13 weeks off each year next week, please on the work for a living...