The release of the AFL draw is always an exciting time.

Importantly, it lets you know all the dates you hope people don’t organise a wedding on.

I’ve already sent it to all my friends with a note not to invite me to anything.

Just kidding, that would be awful and I don’t have any friends.

The draw also gives you the chance to be relieved your team has an OK run or be convinced the AFL has it in for your team.

Next year’s draw, compared to this year’s, is like a Rolls Royce compared to one of those cars European communist countries used to build.

Sunday night games are gone which is good in one way but means fans are actually in danger of having to watch a St Kilda v Bulldogs game.

So credit where credit is due, the AFL has listened and all it took was all of us not going to the football in large numbers for an entire season.

Now let’s see how unhappy you should be.

Adelaide

Not a bad draw with a very soft start. They have to play Port Adelaide twice though and both games are at the Portress.

They get only one Friday night game because they’re no longer the glamour side of South Australia, if there is such a thing.

How should you feel: Not fussed

Brisbane

It kicks off with a big one, Jack Crisp taking on his old side.

They get no Friday night games because shots of an empty GABBA looks pretty bad and it’s not like they’re going to have a live lion prowling about terrorising Auskick kids.

That would rate.

They’re scheduled to play the Bulldogs in the last round, so no surprises guessing the AFL expect that to be the Sunday twilight game when they schedule that round.

How should you feel: Still pretty happy about getting Dayne Beams.

Carlton

They get six Friday night games! Six!

This is a big win for the Blues and a massive loss for fans of football.

They also have big blockbuster games against Essendon, Richmond and Collingwood at the MCG.

They also kick off the season with the traditional letdown of Carlton v Richmond.

How should you feel: Like you were born under a lucky star.

Collingwood

They will pretty much live at the MCG with 14 games there and avoid having to travel much towards the end of the season.

You’d be surprised that they’ve been given nine night games. It’s like the AFL want big ratings.

It’s not all roses though, gone is Collingwood’s traditional Sunday twilight timeslot. Sad.

How should you feel: Like this year’s nightmare is over.

Essendon

Ouch. Turns out making the AFL’s life a living hell for two years does you no favours.

How has the AFL said thank you for two years of brand damage? How about starting with each Grand Finalist in the first two rounds?

They only get two Friday night games, which is bizarre, considering Carlton get six and didn’t even play finals.

How should you feel: Like there is a global conspiracy against you.

Fremantle

Not a bad draw with a host of Saturday night games. If you’re outside of Western Australia and don’t have Foxtel you won’t really see the Dockers this season.

This could be a good thing, if you’re not a fan of Ross Lyon’ style or as I call you, ‘a football fan.’

The Dockers play Port twice but manage to only play Sydney and Hawthorn once.

How should you feel: Pretty happy.

Geelong

The start of the season is tough with no easy wins and it doesn’t get much easier.

Luckily, a lot of the early tough games are in Geelong but this is a tough draw and will test early any notion of the Cats being past it.

Only four Friday night games, so another team wondering what photos of AFL executives Carlton has.

How should you feel: A deep sense of foreboding.

Gold Coast

A very easy start to the season with a trip to Geelong the hardest game and opponents such as Melbourne, GWS and St Kilda making the Suns feel good about themselves.

They get no Friday night games so expect another year of most fans only being able to say ‘one’ when asked ‘How many Suns players can you name?’

How should you feel: Pretty happy with the schedule, subject to Gary’s shoulder.

GWS

Playing St Kilda and Melbourne twice is like being upgraded on an international flight and seated next to your favourite celebrity.

In my case that would be Allen Jakovich but I doubt he’d ever be in business class.

They start the season playing in Canberra more than Western Sydney, which confirms my theory that the AFL is just quietly moving them to the nation’s capital.

Just giving them a few more Canberra games each year, like a tectonic plate moving so slowly you don’t notice it. They don’t even have to change the name. Canberra is sort of west of Sydney.

How should you feel: Both of you should be pretty happy.

Hawthorn

A tough draw as you’d expect but they’re probably going to win the Premiership again. It’s so depressing.

Great exposure on prime time and lot’s of big games so financially they’re going to do well.

They wanted every home game at the MCG but got one at Etihad against Port Adelaide, which is so crazy it made me have a flash back to this year’s schedule.

How should you feel: You’re probably still drunk from celebrating the Premiership. What do you care?

Melbourne

Finals here we come! And yes, I have been drinking very heavily.

A good draw with not a lot of travel.

I’d normally make a joke about the only problem is they need to play AFL teams but I’m turning a new leaf and believing in Melbourne this year.

I’m going to keep on believing in them too, right up to round two!

Melbourne finally gets a Friday night game, against Richmond on Anzac Eve game. This is what the diggers fought for!

How should you feel: Cancel the therapy sessions but hold onto the phone number.

North Melbourne

Like the Giants sneaky move to Canberra, North are quietly creeping down to Tasmania with an extra game there.

They will have to do something about the name though. Does Tasmania have Kangaroos?

They only get two Friday night games, which is ridiculous given their success last year.

As compensation though, they get seven Saturday night matches. For North fans this should encourage big crowds, if only to avoid having to listen to BT.

How should you feel: Do we really have to go to Tasmania?

Port Adelaide

Hard. Not a lot of love but reflective of a great season last year.

Quite a lot of night footy on Thursdays and Fridays for arguably the most exciting team in the AFL at the moment.

Big Anzac Day night game at Adelaide Oval against Hawthorn. I’ve already cleared my diary by cancelling dinner with mum.

They get only one game at the MCG, so will be hoping they can double that in late September.

How should you feel: Would have liked an easy run but no need to break out the tarps.

Richmond

And again comes the hope.

A terrific schedule with 14 games at the MCG, a great start against lowly teams and a bye after a trip to Perth.

It gets harder later in the season but the good news is finals could be stitched up by then or the season will already be over!

They also get to open the season against Carlton in the ceremonial ‘dousing of the hope’ match.

How should you feel: Like every year, ‘this is the year we make it!’

St Kilda

Does it matter? I suppose we should at least have a look.

I’m seeing a lot of Sunday twilight games and a game in New Zealand again. That’s good for non-Saints fans, we won’t be seeing much of them.

They travel a lot which isn’t great but they don’t come up against the top four more than once.

How should you feel: Still wondering how we got here in just a few short years.

Sydney

They play Essendon in round one, which could be playing a team of amateurs if ASADA get their way.

Only three games at ANZ Stadium so it could be worse. They get to play Collingwood at the SCG, which will make for a nice change.

They go to Perth twice and have a tough start but overall this is a draw that’s reflective of being a Grand Finalist.

How should you feel: Numb. You’re probably unaware the draw even game out given your avoiding any AFL coverage since the Grand Final.

West Coast

Not a bad draw at all. On paper it looks pretty easy but the Eagles last year showed they often made the easy look difficult. So, so difficult.

If they’re going to return to the finals, this draw is going to help them. Like the Dockers though, if you’re outside of WA, don’t expect to be seeing much of them.

How should you feel: Not worried about the draw. A bit worried about the team.

Western Bulldogs

The Tom Boyd Future Fund gets 13 matches at Etihad Stadium which is allegedly a good thing.

They get no Friday night games and one of their home games is in Cairns, which according to Google Maps is not in Western Melbourne, although on Apple Maps it’s in West Africa.

They get a pretty easy run against this year’s finalist though.

How should you feel: Who cares about the draw, what about getting a coach?