The current goal video review system in the AFL is an abomination to all that is decent in this world.

Sam Mitchell’s disallowed goal on Saturday night is just one in a long litany of bumbling, incorrect decisions.

I’m not one for punitive measures, but the person who invented this system should be deported from Australia, along with their family and friends.

Where they live should be demolished and the soil should be sowed with salt, so nothing grows ever again.

This would serve as a constant warning to those who consider tinkering with our great game.

Luckily, there is an easy way to fix the whole system:

1. Get rid of all the cameras and the ability to review the decision.
2. Hire people whose sole job is to decide whether it’s a goal or a behind. Don’t give them anything else to do. Their decision is final.
3. Give these people regular eye tests.
4. Dress them in white, broad brim hats, black pants and lab coats. That’s right, lab coats.
5. Allow them to signal a goal in their own style. Some will do it theatrically others, half assed.
6. Encourage them to grow moustaches, including the female umpires.
7. Never change this approach ever again
8. Let us pretend this video review stuff never happened.

There we are, all fixed.

Now let’s talk interchange rules….