Today, Melbourne Coach Paul Roos and Collingwood player Heritier Lumumba caught up for coffee.

Here’s the exclusive transcript.

Paul Roos: G’day Heritier, I came as soon as I got your tweet.

Heritier Lumumba: I really appreciate you meeting with me so quickly.

Roos: That’s alright, it was either this or trying to explain to a couple of guys, why dressing as Rolf Harris was a bad idea. It’s taking a long time.

Lumumba: We’ll I’m glad you could make the time, because I’m thinking about getting out of Collingwood.

Roos: Really? Why? Is it Eddie? Did they make you go to the fan forum?

Lumumba: I really don’t want to go into the detail Paul.

Roos: Please call me Roosy.

Lumumba: Ok Roosy. It’s something that makes me want to explore options like going to Melbourne.

Roos: Surely nothing’s that bad! I mean, willingly come to Melbourne? Has the AFL offered you a million dollar salary or something?

Lumumba: No, nothing like that. Would you be interested?

Roos: Are you kidding? I’m scouting the amateurs at the moment.

We’ve already got Dawes and if we get you, we can challenge Carlton for Mick Malthouse era Magpies.

Lumumba: I want to come Paul, I want to join your quest to get more priority picks and not score that much.

Roos: Let’s make this happen. I’m really excited Heritier. What are you doing now? I was just heading off to meditate. Want to come along?

Lumumba: I’d really like that Roosy.