Structures, process, zones, spread, other stuff, roles.

You can probably already tell, I know my stuff when it comes to AFL strategy and tactics.

My knowledge has been honed through years of watching AFL and playing FIFA on the PlayStation.

I also learnt a lot from when I played footy. I was known for being able to watch the game unfold in front of me, seemingly in slow motion, from the bench.

Adelaide

Adelaide will play with the freedom of not having an injured Kurt Tippett clogging up their list.

The will try to move the ball quickly into James Podsiadly and Eddie Betts but will also not play any defence in their forward 50 due to James Podsiadly and Eddie Betts.

Brisbane

Brisbane will play a new style of football under coach Justin Leppitsch that will see players rotated off quickly to have a chat on the phone to mum and dad so they don’t feel homesick.

Justin Leppitsch will have a very similar style to Leigh Matthews given Leigh is currently writing the game plan for him.

Carlton

This year’s game plan is all about identifying which 25 per cent of players Malthouse will cut at the end of the season.

Carlton’s game plan calls for a defensive intensity based on touch football and the use of Dale Thomas in a midfield role that doesn’t require the use of his ankles.

Collingwood

Continuing the move away from Mick Malthouse’s ‘around the boundary’ approach , the Pies will instead attempt to move the ball through the corridor by digging underground using tunneling equipment stolen by its members from the East West Link project. Those weren't protesters after all.

Keep an eye out on Harry O’Brien catching opponents by surprise through a little publicised haircut and a change of name.

Essendon

Mark Thompson’s game plan will combine elements of his Geelong days, some of Hird’s strategy and the potential for infraction notices at any moment.

The game plan calls for weeks of an ‘us against them’ brilliance followed by weeks of ‘I’m so over this’ hopelessness.

Fremantle

Ross Lyon has the second best game plan in the League.

The Dockers apply enormous pressure to their opponents, much like their namesakes do, through wildcat strikes, go slow work and a ‘no ticket, no start’ defensive structure.

Geelong

The Cats’ game plan has been adjusted slightly during the preseason and is now focused on nobody else getting injured.

They’ll play like there’s two minutes to go and they’re 100 points in front all the time to try and minimise injuries.

Look for a slight North Melbourne influence too. Chris spent all summer picking Brad’s brain and will do the opposite of everything he said.

Gold Coast

Gold Coast like to get everyone out of Gary Ablett’s way.

It’s 90 per cent of what they practice at training and social events too.

Just a bunch of teenagers running away from a bald guy, yelling ‘kick it to me mister!’

GWS

The Giants are gifted with a plethora of talent up forward in Jeremey Cameron, Jonathon Patton and Tom Boyd.

Their game plan is to hope the ball goes into their forward fifty through magic or their opponents mixing up which end they’re kicking to.

Their defence is hoping Heath doesn’t yell at them.

Hawthorn

Hawthorn’s game plan will attempt to control the stoppages and rebound out of defense quickly, to take advantage of the space created in the forward line by not having a nine year, $10 million liability hanging over their heads.

Melbourne

Melbourne’s style this year is that there is actually a game plan. Paul Roos will bring the defensive pressure familiar at the Swans and a high possession style.

Unfortunately, this style will struggle with so many players who couldn’t hit a target if their career depended on it, which it now does.

Look for Jack Watts to set up in the midfield, if you consider about 25 meters from any stoppage ‘the midfield.’

North Melbourne

The NAB Challenge games showcased a new strategy of allowing their opponent free use of the ball at stoppages. This is probably not Brad Scott’s long term strategy but it’s hard to tell.

Look for Scott to roll out a game plan which covers the fourth quarter this year and doesn’t just involve ‘complete surrender.’

Port Adelaide

David Koch’ has insisted Ken Hinkley names all plays on the football field after members of the Sunrise family.

A ‘Melissa Doyle’ is when a player is subbed off, a ‘Grant Denyer’ is when you trash talk a player by accusing them and their wife of being meth addicts and a ‘Sam Armytage’ is when one play stands like a stripper pole to block an opponent’s run at the ball.

Richmond

The Tiger’s game plan is based on the significant influence of Toby Mitchell on the club.

Players will travel in packs, fortify their defensive fifty and try not to get shot too often.

St Kilda

St Kilda’s will deploy a game plan that Alan Richardson hopes won’t get him fired.

Expect an incredibly defensive mind set. Mainly because they’ll be defending almost all the time.

Sydney

Sydney will try to implement their new ‘Buddy Culture’ this year.

This will involve always passing to Buddy no matter how many players are on him. ‘We must get a return on investment’ will be their battle cry.

Look for Adam Goodes to be used in a more ambassadorial role, pushing forward occasionally to speak to groups about topical issues.

West Coast

Adam Simpson thought he’d pinched a fair chunk of Hawthorn’s game plan on a USB when he was an assistant coach there.

Unfortunately, it’s just a bunch of old speech notes from when Kennett was President there. This means the USB is worth less than if you bought a blank one.

Western Bulldogs

The Western Bulldogs have not been able to afford a game plan.

They do however have a walk through guide to the popular video game Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag which someone found on a bus on the way to training.

As a result, expect a playing style based on early 18th Century naval tactics.