The Essendon Football Club says it’s keen to have Kevin Sheedy return to the club in an official role.

“We’d really like him to come back, gather us in his arms and make all the bad things stop,” said Chairman Paul Little.

“It would be fair to say that things have not gone well since he left.

“If he returns, he’ll know what to do, he has to, tell me he will know what to do, tell me, tell me!”

CEO Xavier Campbell said if Sheedy agreed to come back they would all agree to pretend the last six years had just never happened.

“We’d all go along with that. He could just walk in and pretend he’d never left. It would be awesome if he could make everyone else forget the last few years happened too.”

“Maybe like in Men in Black, with that machine that makes people forget things. They’re not real though, right?

“I don’t think they are because it was just a movie. Sheeds would know.”

Captain Jobe Watson said he’d be thrilled to see Sheedy back in the Red and Black.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ll Stand by Hird, but Sheeds would give us all a piggy back. We wouldn’t need to stand at all. I’m pretty tired of standing after two years.”

Not everyone is keen to see Kevin’s return. Long-time James Hird fan, Tania Hird, said she thought current coach James Hird was doing a great job.

“Everything seems to be going really well down at Windy Hill if you ask me. Now get off my lawn.”

When asked if he could just make the last six years ‘go away’, Kevin Sheedy cryptically replied “maybe they already have. Maybe they already have.”