The Essendon Football Club has announced that they will use ‘D’ grade celebrities to top up the squad during the NAB Challenge.

“Not using players from our 2012 list can be seen as a negative or a wonderful marketing opportunity,” said chairman Paul Little.

“I’ve already contacted both Angry Anderson and Mark Holden and they’re very keen.”

Essendon coach James Hird said D-grade celebrities had no concerns about entering ‘a pharmacologically experimental environment.’

“It turns out that’s their natural habitat,” said Hird, “they’re teaching us things.”

“I can already see Nikki Webster floating across half-back like she’s on wires and that guy who won Big Brother once, is a good in-and-under type.”

AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan said fans could vote their favourite D-grade celebrity into the squad by SMS or online.

“There are so many good options,” said McLachlan.

“Hotdogs, Anthony Mundie, Anh Do, most of the Home and Away cast and of course both of the Madden brothers.”

Long-time Essendon fan Claire Templeton said she ‘just wishes this whole damn thing was over already.’

“This saga has taken twenty years off my life and we’re only in year three.”