Dear AFL fans

It may have come to your attention that I was pictured outside my house on Tuesday.

Somehow I had found my way to an Italian restaurant and had lunch with friends.

Apparently, someone had left the gate unlocked at my house.

I now realise there is no excuse for this and I have let everyone down.

Immediately upon realising I was outside my house, I rang the Collingwood Football Club and informed them of what had happened.

They explained that while they were not happy, they understood these things happen from time to time.

They sent a team of handlers to return me to my home and make sure I could not get out again.

I made a strong commitment to them that I will stop having a life outside of football and cease any activities which could bring the game into disrepute, such as having lunch at an Italian restaurant.

The shame I feel for my actions is only slightly offset by the wonderful fettuccine carbonara I had and a perfectly seasoned entree of calamari.

I hope this ends the matter.

Dane Swan