The Super Bowl halftime entertainment has once again done its job of making the AFL’s entertainment look even more awful than it is.
As soon as the final note left Beyonce’s lips, the pressure was on for the AFL to move to a night Grand Final immediately.
So let’s consider the pros and cons of a night Grand Final.
Pros:
- The darkness will allow fireworks to distract from the true awfulness of the entertainment itself
- Everyone can get in several more hours of drinking before the entertainment, making it irrelevant. We’ll be so drunk a pub cover band will seem great
- The people that went to the North Melbourne breakfast will be passed out by the game, freeing up hundreds of tickets
- Like the Super Bowl, the AFL can have a game where the lights fail and it delays the match and ruins it for the team with the momentum
- The afternoon nap you have on Grand Final Day due to eating and drinking too much will no longer occur in the crucial third quarter
- The cover of darkness will make flares more viable, opening up the sport to Western Sydney Wanderers fans
Cons:
- It will make Channel Seven happy
- The late start time could be a challenge for the elderly performers the AFL usually hire
- Channel Seven’s pre-game show will be several hours longer
- It breaks tradition and tradition is always worth keeping even way past it’s use by date; like slavery or The Footy Show
- Cooking the BBQ at night is always more difficult, especially because you’ll have been drinking for almost twelve hours by halftime
- Copying the Americans has rarely been a positive thing to do for Australia. Except for fighting in the Middle East and Vietnam, that’s been a real winner
- The cover of darkness will make flares more viable, opening up the sport to Western Sydney Wanderers fans
- A night Grand Final is simply the AFL’s equivalent of turning off the bedroom light to hide how unattractive things really are. We’ll all still be ashamed in the morning
COMMENTS
AussieJazzman
Feb 10, 2016
TitusOReily you missed the killer argument against: GOVERNMENT MANDATED MID STRENGTH BEER AT THE GAME. #UnAustralian
Johnno31
Feb 10, 2016
You missed one huge positive - at least in the AFL's eyes. It will make our Australian game even more American. DumbItriou would be orgasmic. We would of course have to have dancing girls / cheerleaders showing their wares after every score, together with awful canned fanfares. Maybe add fireworks like the add to the 20/20 cricket to wake up the drunks. All together razzmatazz to replace what used to be a great footy spectacle with lots of kicking and high marking. How AFL.
jazmech
Feb 10, 2016
TitusOReily well said, and i say footy show is 10 years irrelevant.....
pgoog59
Feb 10, 2016
Will Jeremy Howe and his frisbee dog act go better at night or mid afternoon?
Johnno31
Feb 10, 2016
Well he is highly unlikely to be otherwise occupied on the big day.
pgoog59
Feb 10, 2016
Johnno31 You never know, his new team-mates may have introduced him to the joy of selfies.
digitalwoch
Feb 10, 2016
TitusOReily WSW fans, classic! #iseewhatyoudidthere
Dominic Anthony Papasergio
Feb 10, 2016
"The afternoon nap you have on Grand Final Day due to eating and drinking too much will no longer occur in the crucial third quarter" the $ydney Swans had an afternoon nap
Stephen Edward Cusack
Feb 10, 2016
Dominic. Thanks for the reminder mate. Lol.
Scott Randall
Feb 10, 2016
The Superbowl needs entertainment cause its a boring game, we watch our Grand Final for the game, I was at the 2011 Grand Final and I'm a Cats suppporter, I don't remember how bad Meatloaf was, thats not what i was there for
Steve Galloway
Feb 10, 2016
The Super Bowl needs entertainment because it is America
Steve Galloway
Feb 10, 2016
"It breaks tradition and tradition is always worth keeping even way past it’s use by date; like slavery or The Footy Show"
OMG... I'm dead
Jarrod Hill
Feb 10, 2016
Brad Thompson Kruchan Chandler Brett Acton pure Titus gold.
Edna Merkle
Feb 10, 2016
Leave tradition alone! This sort of mucking around with the natural order of things is exactly why we have fading curtains and cows that won't milk properly.
Stanley Yates
Feb 10, 2016
2007 the Peptide Premiership...Dank+Bomber =better performance
Brad Thompson
Feb 10, 2016
The great man is spot on again
Kruchan Chandler
Feb 10, 2016
On the money
Snert Underpant
Feb 10, 2016
A night final means at least one team's supporters won't be able to fly home that night. Because the GF sure as hell will involve at least one.
Hugo Von Winterhalter
Feb 10, 2016
Won't a night final make it harder to see Cyril?
Matthew Adlard
Feb 10, 2016
I can't understand why you would compare the Footy Show to slavery. One is a group of rich elitists abusing the lower classes for their own profit and amusement, whilst slavery is... Oh... okay, now I get the comparison...
Liam Johnson
Feb 10, 2016
Who flys home that night?
Terrible idea
Drew Duval
Feb 10, 2016
Oh think of the children Edna, think of the children!!
Geoff Schaefer
Feb 10, 2016
Well played Mathew!
Matthew Blashki
Feb 10, 2016
Euan McDonald-Madden this is GOLD
Euan McDonald-Madden
Feb 10, 2016
Everything he touches is gold.
Euan McDonald-Madden
Feb 10, 2016
Slavery or the footy show
Michelle Dunn-Vaughan
Feb 10, 2016
This is genius. I can't stop laughing.
Scott Randall
Feb 10, 2016
Shaun Deverson I was thinking he might be a Pies supporter, but you might be onto it
Liz McIntosh
Feb 10, 2016
Depends on wether the Hawks want to play at night or not
Chrissy Harvey
Feb 10, 2016
No , cos people wont get out or there till midnight U0001f620 and what about the kids too long a day
raineoo5
Feb 11, 2016
TitusOReily OMG...definitely no!
katieoh9
Feb 11, 2016
TitusOReily Isn't there something in the constitution that says GF winners are required to be slightly drunk in Fed Square after the game?
katieoh9
Feb 11, 2016
TitusOReily After a night GF that'd be just like any other weekend. Where's the fun in that?
2_InThePink
Feb 11, 2016
TitusOReily Surely everyone knows that it's not open for public debate. The AFL_House and 7AFL will decide when they want the game on
17Doddy_7
Feb 11, 2016
TitusOReily i wouldn' want a night final mainly because i'd be to pissed by thento watch.
TommyGreenaway
Feb 11, 2016
TitusOReily All valid points but let's be honest, we don't want a night GF for one reason- Made up night GF stats. #1stnightpremier
Liam Whitchell
Feb 12, 2016
Matt Hoogeboom Toby Beach Piolo Rimando the west Sydney bits U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602