The recent claims that cricketer Fawad Ahmed’s asylum case was rushed through because of his sporting prowess, is strongly refuted by the Department of Immigration and Border Protection.

In the interest of transparency, the Department has released the application form used by sportspeople when applying for asylum. It clearly shows it's rigor and should put the issue to rest.

DEPARTMENT OF IMMIGRATION AND BORDER PROTECTION

Sportsperson Application Form

How good are you at sport?

A: I can catch a ball if it’s thrown underarm. Slowly.
B: I go alright
C: Really, really good
D: I’m a teenage prodigy
E: To say I’m a once in a generation talent is underselling it

Why are you seeking asylum?

A: I’m not being selected in my home country
B: I’m being selected but they’ll never win anything
C: Everyone in my team hates me (This better not be Kevin Pietersen again)
D: We currently do weight training using live goats
E: I look amazing in canary yellow and green

Which sport do you play?

A: League
B: Union
C: Cricket
D: One of those sports you only care about during the Olympics
E: Football
F: AFL (I probably wouldn't bother applying. We've got this market covered).
G: Netball
H: Tennis (We’ll want to run a psych test on your dad).

Why are you seeking asylum in Australia?

A: Canada’s too cold
B: The US doesn't need anyone at my position
C: Greece can’t afford me
D: New Zealand’s Immigration test is all about ‘The Lord of the Rings’.
E: You guys make sportspeople ‘Australian of the Year’
F: Your welcoming attitude to asylum seekers

Do you have any other skills apart from sport?

A: No
B: I can dress myself
C: I’m real good at sport
D: In my own country, I’m a leading heart surgeon who’s recognised internationally, so I could probably drive a cab in Australia
E: I can spell my own name with a little prompting
F: I’m insanely good looking and am willing to poise in swimwear in News Limited papers