This week, a video has emerged of the AFL’s Chief Medical Officer Dr Peter Harcourt speaking at an anti-doping conference in Zurich.

In the video from last November, Dr Peter Harcourt made several startling admissions about the AFL’s handling of the Essendon supplements saga.

Here are some other admissions made in the video that have not yet been reported.

• Stephen and Matthew Febey are clones of a man known only as 'Ronaldo Febey'.

• Dr Harcourt still can’t believe he got a free trip to Zurich to talk about a botched investigation that has been a disaster for the code and shows no sign of ending.

• The AFL is aware of several instances where players have taken aspirin without waiting the full four hours in between.

• Mick Malthouse is being actively encouraged to take drugs under a project code named 'Turn Mick’s Frown Upside Down.'

• The AFL hopes their staff is never drug tested, especially those people in marketing and the guy that came up with variable ticketing.

• The Scott brothers are a set of clones. The AFL's cloning department believes this experiment has had mixed results.

• The GWS Giants are the result of a drug fuelled planning day that got way out of hand.

• In the late eighties, the AFL was behind several military coups in Central America.

• Dr Harcourt lives in constant fear that people will discover he is only a doctor of philosophy, but does think Immanuel Kant would have some interesting insights on this topic.

• The guy that made this year’s AFL’s schedule is ‘definitely on some heavy drugs.’

• The AFL has tried to clone Gary Ablett, but needles just break on his skin.

• Both ASADA and the AFL tested AOD-9604 in a late night session. He told ASADA he could 'totally feel it' but really he felt nothing. He did lose ten kilos the next day though.

• The best thing about being the AFL's Chief Medical Officer is you can write your own doctor’s certificate when you pull a sickie.

• The AFL suspects that to keep support Richmond, Melbourne or the Western Bulldogs, probably involves taking some sort of drugs.