Jun 12, 2014

AFL

AFL players to be kept in stables

2 Comments

The AFL has reacted swiftly to images of Collingwood midfielder Dane Swan mixing with underworld identity Mick Gatto.

"From now on, players will be kept at newly built club stables when they’re not training or playing games,' said AFL Football Operations Manager Mark Evans.

"There, they will be watered, fed and groomed, free from the distraction of the outside world."

It's believed the move will assist AFL clubs in ending nightclub incidents, illicit drug taking and the last vestiges of normal human interaction.

Under the measure, players will not be allowed to leave the stables from when they are drafted until they leave the AFL.

Port Adelaide President David Koch said while the initiative contravened almost every human rights law and principle, it was important to remember AFL players are not actual people.

"A billion dollar industry rests on the shoulders of these young men. The greater good demands they are locked in little cages, sorry 'stables,' to prevent any risk to the industry."

Incoming AFL Players Association CEO Paul Marsh said the move was 'deeply concerning' but said the AFLPA would ultimately support it.

"It's actually easier to organise a workforce from a union’s point of view, if they're all locked in a few places."

Hawthorn's Josh Gibson said he originally supported the move before discovering 'Stables' was not a new nightclub.

COMMENTS

Billy J

Jun 12, 2014

Hahaha. More gold from Titus O'Reily. Keep up the great work!

Keyla

Mar 07, 2015

That's a smart answer to a tricky qutesion