As we all know, sports now exist purely for the purpose of tweeting during them. Here’s 2015 through the lens of 140 characters.

Cricket

“You’re going to do nothing but watch cricket all day?” “Actually, for five days.” #AUSvIND

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) January 5, 2015

New Zealand declares war on third umpire Nigel Llong. Their navy’s flagship sets out immediately. #AUSvNZ pic.twitter.com/wXcEelgq8j

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) November 29, 2015

Shaun Marsh is like your Grandma driving you somewhere, you think you’re probably going to get there but it’s terrifying. #AUSvNZ

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) November 29, 2015

Channel Nine bragging about this being in HD is like a mate telling you about their new Playstation 2. #AUSvNZ

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) November 27, 2015

International Rules

How Australians reacted to their loss in the International Rules. pic.twitter.com/dF6CmUH3Zw

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) November 21, 2015

Melbourne Cup

Bit disappointed in the post-race interview they didn’t ask Michelle Payne who she was dressed by. #MelbourneCup

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) November 3, 2015

Trade Period

You know when you get home and realised you forgot to get milk? Fremantle have done that but with a key forward.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 22, 2015

GWS dropping some stuff off at Carlton. pic.twitter.com/BN0NieYC8E

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 21, 2015

The deal to get Treloar to the Pies will involve all 18 AFL clubs, Perth Glory, a medium sized South American country and a goat.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 18, 2015

“Dangerfield is definitely going to Geelong. Crows are putting a statement out later today.” pic.twitter.com/e6gnndsUgI

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 23, 2015

Scott Pendlebury gets hitched

Scott Pendlebury just got married. I’m told he just seemed to have extra time and space coming down the aisle.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 12, 2015

AFL Grand Final

Not to overreact but this is the worst result for humanity. #AFLGF

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 3, 2015

The only way to equalise the competition is to have James Hird coach Hawthorn. #AFLGF

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 3, 2015

There are people at home watching this who are closer to Rioli than an opponent. #AFLGF

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 3, 2015

A mate of mine had a Grand Final drinking game where he had a drink every time an ad came on. He’s dead now. #AFLGF

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 3, 2015

Grand Final day is great because no one judges you for drinking before noon. #AFLGF

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 3, 2015

Brownlow

I don’t know what women see in this guy. pic.twitter.com/IPonvUtB6S

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 28, 2015

Fremantle fans celebrate Nat Fyfe winning the Brownlow. #Brownlow pic.twitter.com/Lv0Ud9kLOP

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 28, 2015

AFL say all future Brownlow mock ups will feature Jack Watts to avoid potential confusion. #Brownlow

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 28, 2015

There’s an AFL online staff member who’s job is riding on Sam Mitchell not winning. #Brownlow

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 28, 2015

Just remember the Brownlow is voted on by the people who umpired the Prelims on the weekend. #Brownlow

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 28, 2015

AFL Finals

Fyfe played last night with a broken leg. I’ve played FIFA with a bruised thumb so I can relate. Sometimes you just have to tough it out.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 27, 2015

I thought Razor Ray Chamberlain handing out West Coast Eagles footballs to the crowd after the game was a bad look. #AFLEaglesNorth

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 26, 2015

In finals, some people stand up and take responsibility to win the game. #AFLEaglesNorth pic.twitter.com/pzxNTqbkyw

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 26, 2015

Will be exciting to see Hawthorn chase a third premiership in a row next week. Kill me. #AFLFreoHawks

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 25, 2015

Dockers came out strong but the umpires have really settled now. #AFLFreoHawks

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 25, 2015

Plane chartered to take North supporters over to Perth this week. #AFLFinals pic.twitter.com/tb3xCqIZqG

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 20, 2015

I hope the AFL bring the Doggies back into the finals like when a reality TV show brings back someone who was voted out. #AFLDogsCrows

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 12, 2015

Adam Goodes

Goodes not doing a lap of honours unfortunately shows idiots in big enough numbers can achieve things, more often than we would like.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 20, 2015

Jason Akermanis has finally weighed into the Adam Goodes debate with scientists now predicting we’ve reached peak stupid.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 30, 2015

Has anyone thought to interview Dawn Fraser on the Adam Goodes saga? I’m sure she could add constructively to the debate.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 28, 2015

I’m not saying you boo Adam Goodes for racist reasons but when a bunch of racists are doing it too maybe stop.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 26, 2015

Prime Minister Spill

I’m announcing today a spill motion of the Channel Seven AFL commentary team and the Channel Nine cricket commentary team.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 15, 2015

Being Prime Minster these days is like being appointed caretaker coach.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 14, 2015

I’m told Cyril Rioli just casted a vote in the party room and it was the most amazing vote ever cast.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 14, 2015

Compared to our country, our sporting clubs aren’t actually that badly run.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 14, 2015

If successful, Malcolm Turnbull is expected to immediately ask for a priority pick.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 14, 2015

Priority Picks

Carlton have also asked the AFL if they could just be given a premiership.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 11, 2015

Carlton have requested a priority pick to compensate for running their club really badly.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 11, 2015

Harley Bennell

I’m sure Harley Bennell slapped that cigarette out of the bouncers hand to try and save him from lung cancer. Hero.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 7, 2015

Hawthorn have encouraged Harley Bennell to join them, promising him a ‘suspension free environment’.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 7, 2015

The photos of Harley Bennell are further proof of a worrying culture of UDL use at the Suns. pic.twitter.com/KbEgDK55YV

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 1, 2015

Shane Watson

“So you’re saying use this instead of my leg?” pic.twitter.com/yC6m34JQyk

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 4, 2015

I’m starting a campaign to make Shane Watson give Ryan Harris his knees. Win-win.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 4, 2015

It’s over. Watson dropped. #AUSvAFG #CWC15 pic.twitter.com/K2cPKWkScQ

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) March 4, 2015

Bit of a knee jerk reaction dropping Watson. Can’t a guy have a few bad years? #AUSvAFG #CWC15

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) March 4, 2015

“I’m technically a cricketer. What do you both do?” pic.twitter.com/NWGdEuJQRj

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) January 1, 2015

Luke Hodge

Let whoever hasn’t elbowed someone, crushed someone’s head against a point post and been caught drink driving, cast the first stone.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 4, 2015

It’s easy to misjudge how drunk you get on a stomach full of Lite ‘n’ Easy.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 4, 2015

Courtenay Dempsey gets four weeks. If only he’d gently cradled Deledio’s head into a point post.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 1, 2015

Resting Players

Melbourne have also written to the AFL saying they’ll be resting players. The letter is backdated to round 19. 2007.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 31, 2015

Why are people questioning Ross Lyon’s decisions? The man has almost won two premierships and is on track to almost win another one.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 31, 2015

I guess it’s better to rest your players in a Round 23 pointless game than in the Grand Final like Sydney did last year.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 31, 2015

With Fremantle sending their ‘B’ team, Port have confirmed they’ll play their ‘B’ team, more commonly known as their 2015 team.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 30, 2015

Nathan Jones

Nathan Jones plays his 200th game this weekend. That’s 200 games of being stuck in the worst group assignment ever.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 28, 2015

Wayne Carey

Wayne Carey is to commentary what Wayne Carey is to friendship. #AFLFinals

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) September 18, 2015

John Worsfold

“If you’re watching this, the worst has happened, I have been appointed Essendon coach. Please pray for me.” pic.twitter.com/yRJGCPbk7m

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 4, 2015

James Hird

It’s sad that you can be run out of a club just because your players have been injected hundreds of time with unknown substances.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 18, 2015

Essendon say they will look for a replacement who is less litigious and can coach.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 18, 2015

Essendon are like Nickelback. They’re terrible and the majority of people can’t stand them but they still have a massive following.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 15, 2015

Unfortunately, we don’t know what type of drug Sam Mitchell was pretending to inject. #AFLHawksDons

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) June 27, 2015

“James, you can see we’re well on track for me to no longer be considered the worst coach ever.” pic.twitter.com/kljOv3Q3OK

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 3, 2015

“Do any of you guys know how to coach?” pic.twitter.com/Cmr3bG4iZ7

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 2, 2015

A half-hour special on Essendon’s trip to India is on Fox Footy tonight. First 25 minutes is clearing customs.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 28, 2015

Hird admits the pressure is on him. Was weird hearing him admit something.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 5, 2015

Nick Kyrgios

I never thought I’d see the day when an Australian tennis player was more known for a sledge than our cricketers. Sad day for cricket.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 13, 2015

This is how Dawn Fraser and Nick Kyrgios should settle things. Only fair way. pic.twitter.com/XVVCHgQL9n

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 7, 2015

Australia collapse for 60 runs

If you’re new to cricket, Australia has played cricket before and this is technically a professional team. #Ashes

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 6, 2015

The only positive when we’re doing badly in The Ashes, is that we’ve always been so graceful in victory that people will go easy on us.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 7, 2015

“Today is the blackest day in Australian sport.” #Ashes pic.twitter.com/RIAtIBzSEg

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 6, 2015

Australia keep playing like this and they’ll get seven Friday Night Footy games next year. #Ashes

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 6, 2015

“Are you guys seriously cricketers?” #Ashes pic.twitter.com/v2vTiPfus5

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 6, 2015

There is no worse feeling than being sad while English people are happy. #Ashes

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 6, 2015

“Tonight, I have cancelled the Australian top order’s citizenship. I have full bipartisan support.” #Ashes pic.twitter.com/y7WjZpjJQW

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 6, 2015

We could have picked any four random Australian citizens and we would have a similar score. Would have been cheaper too. #Ashes

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 6, 2015

Bec Judd

Sad to hear about Bec Judd’s challenging time. Brave she spoke out about this. pic.twitter.com/g0vL4g2sCV

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 26, 2015

Bernard Tomic

Aussies dominate at Lord’s, Bernard Tomic arrested, the perfect night for Aussie sports fans really.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 16, 2015

Sources say Bernard Tomic resisted arrest briefly before just giving up and sulking.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 16, 2015

Fans of Bernard Tomic crisis meeting underway. pic.twitter.com/Jnphbkhj3N

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 4, 2015

Sling tackles

One day a player will do a sling chicken wing while sliding, followed by a traditional dance and we’ll just have to stop playing footy.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 11, 2015

Precedent pretty clear now, if you sling a bloke in a tackle and they’re knocked unconscious, you’ll sometimes be suspended.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 6, 2015

Comparing the Schulz tackle and the Gibbs tackle not easy. Ponytail a big factor in Gibbs penalty. #AFLSwansPower

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 2, 2015

Gary Ablett

And on the Fourteenth Round, he returned and said ‘let us no longer be a total embarrassment’ and so it was. pic.twitter.com/e1OCQsNFrw

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) July 4, 2015

Josh Kennedy retires

Josh Kennedy retires at 32 as he has important work to do at 33. pic.twitter.com/yKG2c8nCAZ

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) June 26, 2015

Hawthorn Away Jumper

So Stephen Dank gets a life ban but the people who designed this are still free. pic.twitter.com/dsayurSPuv

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) June 26, 2015

Who wore it better? pic.twitter.com/hSGwcsyDbX

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) April 10, 2015

State of Origin

In Victoria, when someone says they’re interested in State of Origin they’re usually wondering where their coffee came from.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) June 17, 2015

I’m tipping Queensland in tonight’s State of Origin. The Blues have a terrible record at the MCG this year. #StateofOrigin

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) June 17, 2015

FIFA

Votes being counted in the FIFA elections. #FIFA pic.twitter.com/dO4pgw2sEx

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 29, 2015

Pretty unfair this is happening to FIFA after their own report cleared them.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 27, 2015

Malthouse, Bolton and Carlton

In a revolutionary shift at the Blues, Brendon Bolton says he’ll introduce ‘training’, ‘fitness’ and ‘basic football skills’ to Carlton.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 25, 2015

Carlton are set to announce they’ll be ruining Brendon Bolton’s life next season.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) August 24, 2015

In the greatest news in the history of time, Carlton will not play on a single Friday night game in the 2016 season.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) October 26, 2015

Waiting for confirmation Malthouse is gone. pic.twitter.com/DolSV62Juq

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 26, 2015

Mick would be safe and staring at an extension if he’d just put in place a rogue supplement program.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 26, 2015

“Yes I would be interested in income protection insurance.” pic.twitter.com/0VDVNbra9z

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 25, 2015

Mark Maclure’s call for Carlton to go get Alastair Clarkson is like telling a friend they should go marry Beyoncé.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 21, 2015

No longer the funniest Carlton. #AFLCatsBlues pic.twitter.com/FQmaE4715G

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 22, 2015

Cricket World Cup

INFOGRAPHIC: How big is the MCG compared to New Zealand? #AUSvNZ pic.twitter.com/20ZxDhJqgU

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) March 28, 2015

It’s going to be great when New Zealand gets Twitter in a few years and can join in on the banter. #AUSvNZ

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) March 29, 2015

Maxwell’s the friend who goes hard early. It’s either the best night out ever or you’re pouring him into a cab at 8.30. #AUSvSL

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) March 8, 2015

Heritier Lumumba

“Eddie? I’ve made a huge mistake.” pic.twitter.com/jp0oN3YyUz

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) March 10, 2015

The exact moment it dawns on Heritier Lumumba that he’s at Melbourne. pic.twitter.com/eEuoR35Hrw

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) January 7, 2015

Glenn McGrath

The only people on Twitter who should be criticising Glenn McGrath, are those who haven’t shot an elephant.

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) February 21, 2015

Robert Allenby

Robert Allenby has revealed further details of his night out. pic.twitter.com/KERNpAhAf4

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) January 26, 2015

Colin Sylvia retires

Fremantle and Melbourne players will each wear one of these today to honour Colin Sylvia. #AFLDeesFreo pic.twitter.com/Hk9jEE2ZJ3

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) May 2, 2015

Nightclubs will have their ropes at half mast in honour of Colin Sylvia’s retirement. pic.twitter.com/uUfMoaNOH6

— Titus O’Reily (@TitusOReily) April 28, 2015