Following Australia’s 347 run loss to England in the Second Ashes Test, I sat down with Cricket Australia’s Chief Executive James Sutherland to talk about the state of Australian cricket.

Titus O’Reily: James, thanks for finding the time to do this.

James Sutherland: No problem at all Titus. I’m actually pretty free at the moment. Everything’s travelling along nicely.

Titus: Seriously?

James: Sure is. Do you know how long I’ve been in this job ? Since 2001 and I joined the Board in 1998. Can you believe it? There are university professors with tenure who have less job security than me. Thank god my position isn’t performance based.

Titus: James, there’s a lot of anger amongst cricket fans about the state of the Test team.

James: Did you see Mike Hussey land in that helicopterthe other day? Pretty big signing for the Sydney Thunder hey?

Titus: To be honest James I’m still pretty vague on what the Sydney Thunder are. Pretty keen on The Ashes though. What’s gone wrong?

James: What about the Melbourne Renegades then? Getting James Pattinson and Peter Siddle is pretty exciting. A lot of hype in Melbourne I bet. Stars fans must be really upset. Renegade fans must be really giving it to them at workplaces or similar.

Titus: Not really James. People are pretty excited about Liverpool’s visit and the Essendon/Hawks game on Friday. I’ve never had a single sports fan bring up the Renegades ever and all I do is talk to people about sports.

James: How do you think the Adelaide Strikers will go this year?

Titus: I care about that as much as I do about the royal baby. The Australian Test team is an embarrassment and the ratings and crowds for the BBL are average at best. How did you let us get here?

James: But helicopters Titus! Helicopters! We’ve got fireworks and everything.

Titus: Who cares? The national team is awful and in the days following a humiliating loss at Lords all Cricket Australia can do is promote the BBL. It’s like pouring salt into a fresh wound.

James: Titus, I’m picking up a negative vibe from you about the BBL. What if we got you in a helicopter? Flew you in to the MCG?

Titus: I’d be more interested in some top order batsmen for the test team.

James: Look, last time I checked I’d sacked Arthur. All sorted. Now are you a Renegades guy or a Stars guy? I can usually tell. Renegades? No wait Stars! No Renegades. Why are you glaring at me?

Titus: James, under your watch, cricket in Australia has become a laughing stock.

James: What about cannons Titus? We could shoot new players out of them when they sign. No wait! Parachutes! We can parachute batsmen in to the crease. Are you writing these down! There’s no off position on the genius switch.

Titus: The Test team James! It’s more important. The Ashes is the greatest showcase for cricket. It needs to be nurtured if future generations are going to follow cricket.

James: Seriously? I thought the BBL was pretty exciting. We got $100 million out of Channel Ten for it.

Titus: James it seems you have as much talent as a sports administrator as you did as a player.

James: Is that a compliment? I can’t really tell with you. Hey want to come to lunch with me? I’ve got a heap of KFC vouchers we can use.

Titus: Sure but we sit at different tables

James: Great! I’ll get the vouchers.