The England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) today released a statement announcing ‘cricket is really, really hard’ and ‘not as easy as it looks.’
ECB chairman Giles Clarke said scoring runs and getting wickets was not something this English team had been designed to do.
“We were sort of looking for a group of people who liked the ECB Board and we got that. Cricket was not the priority.”
“They are just a terrific bunch of blokes. Couldn’t play a game of cricket to save themselves but great to hang out with at the pub.”
England captain Eoin Morgan, formerly an Irishman and currently a traitor to his country, said he personally found batting very difficult.
“It’s super difficult. You have to coordinate your arms and your legs. You have a helmet on. The ball’s often really fast or does a spinny thing.”
“It was a super fun tour though, apart from all the cricket stuff. Full credit to the lads.”
England head coach Peter Moores said his players could hold their heads up high with a spirited performance against Scotland a major highlight of the tournament.
“Beating Scotland isn’t easy. We’ve got bragging rights for the whole of our tiny island.”
“I think we can also hold our heads up high knowing that we took it up to a powerhouse like Bangladesh and gave them a real scare.”
The ECB said they’d given cricket a ‘really good go’ but may start looking at other sports.
COMMENTS
Mace
Mar 10, 2015
England have the chance to redeem some pride against Afganistan. I can only dream of how great it would be if Afganistan could actually win...
Mace
Mar 10, 2015
Spelt Afghanistan wrong twice in same reply. What an idiot!
Mr Wisdom's Whopper
Mar 10, 2015
And heaven knows Afghanistan must be shaking in their boots knowing that the might of the English cricket team is coming after them.
Jonathan
Mar 10, 2015
Let us extend some compassion to England during this very difficult time. As Frank Drebin once remarked in The Naked Gun: "No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, we must be gracious and considerate hosts."
Jack Hughes
Mar 10, 2015
Given Zimbabwe a real scare? Was that meant to say Bangladesh?
curious
Mar 10, 2015
Heard an Irish fan on the radio ... Ireland can now claim to be
European champions of cricket!
Hilarious.
Unfortunately there is enough time for them to do something rash and make changes positive for the upcoming Ashes campaign. A wounded lion can't be taken lightly now ...
Would have been better for us if they had an honourable loss in the quarter finals, like their football team usually does.
old44
Mar 12, 2015
Wounded lion no, a mangled pussycat yes.