Australian head coach Darren Lehmann has conceded not selecting any cricketers contributed to Australia’s disastrous first innings at Trent Bridge.
“Hindsight is 20/20 but a score of 60 runs all out suggests selecting some people with a working knowledge of a cricket bat would have been beneficial.”
Cricket Australia have put out a call to any Australians currently in England who have played cricket at any level to make themselves known.
“We’re looking for anyone who’s ever held a cricket bat in anger. Beach cricket, kanga cricket, backyard cricket, Crown & Andrews Test Match,” said Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland.
“Anyone who knows the difference between the handle to the other end of the bat really.
“People who have shown a history of trying and not surrendering the minute things are tough would be nice too.”
Lehmann says he takes full responsibility for not selecting cricketers and admits it's embarrassing that he contributed to Stuart Broad looking good.
“I understand that to Australians, Stuart Broad’s happiness is the salt in the gaping wound and for that I offer an unreserved apology.”
However, Captain Michael Clarke said being an Australian batsman at the moment is nice work if you can get it.
“I wouldn't call it work. It's more like collecting millions of dollars for a brief public appearance.”
“Now that runs aren't an essential criteria for the job, it opens up being an Australian cricketer as a career for millions of people.”
Australian cricket fan Sara Thomas said the Australian team should donate their salaries to all the alcohol she’ll need to try to forget this indelible stain on Australia’s soul.
COMMENTS
Pugs22
Aug 06, 2015
Move extras up the batting list for a start.
jayhess2000
Aug 07, 2015
It's not the fault of the batting. Clearly our bowlers aren't up to being able to bowl to a target.
TaiMurray86
Aug 07, 2015
TitusOReily yep Elyse Perry is our best hope to make the mens team and turn things around at the moment
Ajays3044
Aug 07, 2015
TitusOReily Best hope of getting the ashes .....return via Bali
Geoff Schaefer
Aug 06, 2015
Am happy to volunteer my services. I play some very similar shots to several Clarkey played last night. Might you I play tennis. Does that matter?
David Victor Madden
Aug 06, 2015
You're having a field day with this! Keep up the good work, at least it is making us laugh!
Snert Underpant
Aug 06, 2015
Who would't apply? You get paid a fixed wage for five days and if you finish in two, you get the same pay and three days off. Talk about the perfect job!
Kurt Mason
Aug 06, 2015
Trent Blight Chris Hayes Luke Corbett Ben Agar
Marc Naimo
Aug 07, 2015
Daniel Simiele
Mick Nanley
Aug 07, 2015
Kyle Haywood
Golby Thomson
Aug 07, 2015
Jeff Mills
Nick Thompson
Aug 07, 2015
Matt Reilly
Nick Thompson
Aug 07, 2015
Samuel Thompson
Tom Lewis
Aug 07, 2015
Seb Ezekiel Lipka hahaha read this
Andreas Baruhas
Aug 07, 2015
Zachary Baruhas
Jai Perrett
Aug 07, 2015
Michael Famularo
Maria Ayles
Aug 07, 2015
Any U8 team would probably do better!
Dean Diamond
Aug 07, 2015
Andrew Jakowenko
Will Long
Aug 07, 2015
you batted better against Geelong a few years ago than most of the aussies last night Darcy O'Connor
Adam Birman
Aug 07, 2015
Zak Fleisher David Philipson
Andrew Walpole
Aug 07, 2015
Stel Haranas Charlie Chung Jake Gordon
Ben Reed
Aug 07, 2015
Jacob Holmes Jacob Chance James Lang
Andrew Liepins
Aug 07, 2015
Laura Liepins
Sam Bowen
Aug 07, 2015
Penelope Crane
Sports Uncensored
Aug 07, 2015
8 weeks ago I reckon the great Titus had drafted a heap of these jokes with England in the place of Australia.... Sad sad day!
Matt Fenwick
Aug 07, 2015
Cameron Sloan Nathan Douch Shannon Sabourne
Benn Ayre
Aug 07, 2015
Mark Bennett
Samuel Beaver
Aug 07, 2015
Marcus Beaver Nathan Beaver
Marcus Beaver
Aug 07, 2015
Haha that is so good
Marcus Beaver
Aug 07, 2015
Ben Hillard Bradley Nicol Sean Murnane Anthony Burr
John Birmingham
Aug 07, 2015
Peter Birmingham
Bob Bruce
Aug 07, 2015
Mark Buck Andrew Jacks
John Awad
Aug 07, 2015
Ay last he is admitting selection process was incorrect. However, we seem to forget quickly that other Australian Cricket Captains have had problems also. Who would forget Greg Chappell with 7 or 8 naughts in a row? There was also Steve Waugh, Ricky Ponting, just to mention a few. This is sport, one day UP and the next DOWN. Not playing Siddle in this match when the conditions suited him was a mistake. Persevering with Voges and the two Marsh boys when they never really produced is also a mistake. Do not solely put it on the Captain. Those who selected the players have to take some of the blame also. But it seems to me that Rodney March is suffering what his predecessor also suffered from. It comes back to SPORT.
Steve Price
Aug 07, 2015
Steven JM Ryan Mato
Simon Boath
Aug 07, 2015
Scott Mcmahon
David Underwood-Harris
Aug 07, 2015
Michael Charlton
Chelsie Cossens
Aug 07, 2015
Nathan Riches I'll organise your flight over if you wanna organise a bat and ankle brace?
Matt Perilli
Aug 07, 2015
Harry Latham you're in with a chance
Harry Latham
Aug 07, 2015
About time I reckon. Me at one end Andrew Malone at the other, lethal combination
Gavin Hayhurst
Aug 07, 2015
Brilliant
Andrew Malone
Aug 07, 2015
The spin kings
Daniel Giles
Aug 07, 2015
William Raynham
Adrian Phelan
Aug 07, 2015
Tom Kelly
Brin McNab
Aug 07, 2015
Aaron Meek
Adrian N Debbie Southgate
Aug 07, 2015
And can not blame the pitch,now when the poms smacked 260 odd in the rest of the day,it's too much 20/20 and hit and giggle,they need to leave the ball alone,Clarkes wasa shocker,wide and he chased it,the look of surprise on cooks face when he realised he caught it was priceless ,
Adrian N Debbie Southgate
Aug 07, 2015
My two Big mugs off jack Daniels lasted longer than Aussie innings,ha h ah a
Phil Johns
Aug 07, 2015
Bill Jongschaap
Phoebe Elizabeth
Aug 07, 2015
Chloe Penn
Penelope Crane
Aug 07, 2015
test selection 101.
Leroy Handley
Aug 07, 2015
Benjamin Clark you're in mate!
Ben Jahn
Aug 07, 2015
Shane Davies
Robert Anile
Aug 07, 2015
Bring back Watson....Don't know what else to sayU0001f615
kendyason
Aug 07, 2015
TitusOReily Selecting any of them might have been #ashes #cricket #Pomicide
Snert Underpant
Aug 07, 2015
Would this Rodney March you refer to be related to Rodney Marsh?
John Awad
Aug 07, 2015
Sorry about that, pressed the wrong key obviously. Yes, Rodney Marsh, the one and only.
Graeme Wiese
Aug 07, 2015
we have a great under 15s team are you interested
Shane Davies
Aug 07, 2015
Hahha. Sigh.
Andrew Malone
Aug 07, 2015
Scott Blackmore bowls a mean bouncer!
Dou Che
Aug 07, 2015
Mark Vos
Sarah Galliford
Aug 07, 2015
I'm in London, padding up as we speak!
Byron Hales
Aug 07, 2015
Daniel Hales
Darren McLanders
Aug 07, 2015
Adam, you played park cricket for 2 seasons down here, you'd be eligible.
Matt Reilly
Aug 07, 2015
Gareth Robinson
M6NSTER
Aug 07, 2015
72nivek gm2975 EricEric992 tom_boy_26 kimbohellyeah Miss_Boots1 666Harps666 15Gizmo 7_teza Lol Bruv!
Billious
Aug 07, 2015
These bunch of sheilas should be docked in their pay cheque for not turning up to work like we would be. A 4-1 series loss assuming we arrive at the next test match is a sad indictment on our cricket talent at the moment.
We would be more credible if we forfeit the final test or all get sick and we field Australia D side or rush the girls over to play.
Jared Moore
Aug 07, 2015
Ash Galway
Tom Upitis
Aug 07, 2015
Austin Law
Andrew Young
Aug 07, 2015
Am I reading this right? NOT selecting cricketers to play in a TEST match????
Jamie Cassidy
Aug 07, 2015
Ben Burrows
Alarna Ilias
Aug 07, 2015
Sue Taylor even I can bat better than them and I've never been able to get bat on ball!!!!
Andy Farrow
Aug 07, 2015
Martin Mills you're on!!!
dean0820
Aug 12, 2015
give 'em a break, they showed up for work EVERY DAY! and on time too! they are an example to us all.