Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise. 

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You've come to the right place.

Thursday

St Kilda (64) v Western Bulldogs (124)

Wait, I thought the Bulldogs were finished, there was a rift between the coach and players, and Beveridge was about to be sacked.

I guess there’s nothing like playing St Kilda to fix a lot of your problems.

Whenever a friend is going through a tough time, I always ask, ‘Have you thought about playing St Kilda?”

To be fair to the Saints, they have played three games in eleven days.

I’m no expert but that seems a lot, and I know other teams have had similar fixtures thrust upon them.

Between Opening Round, Gather Round, and a heap of byes, the AFL fixture is more intense than The Tortured Poets Department, especially those first 16 songs.

But remember, player safety if the number one thing driving the AFL and they wouldn’t do this just for the money.

It does mean we get some games like this every now and again.

That all said, the Bulldogs came to play, and they ran all over the Saints.

Even more exciting, if they managed to unearth a likely prospect in Jack Macrae, who the Dogs plucked from the VFL.

Luke Beveridge sure has an eye for young talent.  

I’ve added three more in Melbourne of Sport: The Unauthorised History. The first five shows all sold out, so if you want to come to these, you can get tickets here.

Friday

Adelaide (75) v Essendon (78)

Crows fans are used to umpiring decisions going against them, but this time I don’t think it will be the reason they will miss finals. They are going to do that all by themselves.

When Sam Draper dived on the ball in the dying seconds and failed to even attempt to dispose of it, the umpires stayed silent.

The AFL announced the next day it was technically a free kick, which I guess means it wasn’t a free kick ‘spiritually’.  

You can’t rely on the umpires to save you, it’s like hoping your local council will make sensible decisions, it’s a fool’s errand.

A good way to ensure the umpires don’t impact your game is to be up by ten or more goals. I’m surprised more sides don’t do that.

Essendon had a chance to be even further ahead, but they kicked 10.18. Forget the Essendon edge, it’s more the Essendon sawn-off shotgun. It can be dangerous but it’s inaccurate.

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Saturday

Collingwood (123) v Port Adelaide (81)

Remember those heady days of March when the Pies were so hungover they barely got off the couch?

Now, after some KFC, a few coffees, a hydrolyte and a 1.25L of coke, and the Pies are now ringing around asking if anyone wants to go out.

Things didn’t look good early for them.

Port kicked five of the first six goals putting them up by 31 points, which really should have been a solid base to build a win off.

Not for Port though. After the opening barrage, they seemed to down tools.

With Port players holding picnics around the ground, Will Hoskin-Elliott did a credible impression of the greatest player whose ever played the game.

The Pies slammed on goal after goal, and Ken Hinkley must have wondered why his players didn’t go back to work.

Most concerning though is the Pies looked back to last year’s form and we all know how badly that turned out.

Carlton (117) v Greater Western Sydney (98)

Perhaps the most depressing thing about this game was the fact Carlton had 14 players out with injury.

Does this mean the Blues are good and have depth? Forget the recent eclipse, this is a rare event.

Add to that, Carlton had to keep fighting at stages to just stay in the game, only to come back every time before running away with it. 

In recent weeks, the Blues have beaten Richmond, North, Fremantle and then lost to Adelaide.

This was the statement win they needed and sets them up to play another undefeated side next week, Geelong.

Adding salt to the wound, the Giants also had both Toby Greene and Jesse Hogan receive one-week suspensions after this game, something they are appealing.

Giants coach Adam Kingsley was quick to defend Toby Greene.

"It's hard being Toby,” he said.

It sure is, mainly because Toby makes it hard, but let’s pretend he’s hard done by.

Brisbane (37) v Geelong (63)

Wins over Nort Melbourne and Melbourne made it seem the Lions had got their season back on track, but it’s appearing that’s what they call in finance a dead cat bounce.

As in, "even a dead cat will bounce if it falls from a great height."

Geelong are not a dead cat. They are very much alive.

On Saturday night, the Cats wore the Lions down in the rain with better team discipline, and by noticing it was raining and adjusting to the conditions.

The win sees Geelong left as the only undefeated team in the league. The Cats may be the only consistent thing in the world right now.

For the first half of my life the Cats were a bit of a joke, the second half they’ve been a relentless winning machine.

They’ve got the good Scott brother, a great development program and they got like, 100 first-round draft pick from the Eagles for Tim Kelly.

Brisbane’s season looks in deep trouble, at 2-4, and what was strange is as the rain got heavier and heavier, the Lions decided chipping the ball around as much as is possible was a sensible approach.

Their fans were tearing their hair out, you could hear the audible groans.

It’s never a good sign when the fans figure out what is going on and the players haven’t.

Harley Reid (105) v Fremantle (68)

Don’t get vertigo Eagles fans, sitting up there in 14^th spot.

In a result that surprised few, the Eagles realised you are allowed to win two games in a row.

All it has taken is the drafting of a once-in-a-generation talent to turn them around.

Reid finished with three goals, 19 disposals and seven clearances, but it was also the way he goes about it. Opposition teams have to pay attention to him, freeing up teammates.

Fremantle had returned from back-to-back games in Adelaide, but it still didn’t explain why they were down by 64 points in this one, before launching a mild comeback.

It seemed the real issue was the Dockers were in shock to be confronted with a West Coast side display a level of professionalism. It was like seeing a white tiger in the wild.

The only negative for the Eagles was Tom Barrass has been suspended for one week for rough conduct against Michael Walters in a dangerous tackle.

Eagles coach Adam Simpson presented a strong defence. It’s a bit technical but bear with him, "I hope he gets off. He's a good guy".

Case closed, let him off.

Sunday

Sydney (110) v Gold Coast (57) 

With all the changes up at the Suns, one thing remains consistent, they are consistently average.

They hung in there for a half, before the Swans midfield went up a few gears, and the Suns discovered they didn’t have those gears.

It looked a lot like the Suns were more worried about what the Swans were going to do to them than what they would do to the Swans.

They were more reactive than a talk-back caller.

It was just what the Swans needed, after a few lacklustre weeks, although struggling against the Eagles no longer seems the unmitigated disaster it once was.

North Melbourne (68) v Hawthorn (113)

North Melbourne have secured a vital loss to remain undefeated, the only team without a win this year.

The Kangaroos kicked the first two goals of the game, which turned out to be a tactical mistake. The effort exhausted them, and they were barely sighted after that.

At one point, the Hawks booted nine consecutive goals, as they flexed their muscles as the 17^th best team in the league.

Hawthorn might be bad, but they are not North Melbourne bad. They have had one victory in the last 27 games.

That’s not good. One of the main things a football needs to do, and this gets forgotten sometimes, is win.

Winning is important. It gets you premiership points, which, if you get enough, gets you into finals, and if you keep winning there, you can win a premiership.

If feel North Melbourne have forgotten this.

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