Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise. 

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You've come to the right place.

Friday

Sydney (95) v Port Adelaide (59)

Well, I guess they can’t all be classics.

With no Jack Ginnivan to motivate them, Port Adelaide brought the energy of someone who had a big Christmas lunch to the game.

In what could only be described as a strange decision, Port decided the best way to enter their forward fifty was to kick the ball as high as possible.

Despite this not working again and again, they stuck to the plan, mainly it seemed for the sole purpose of torturing their fans.

While they were constantly turning the ball over in their forward line, the Swans were having a field day.

They literally had entire fields of space around them when they got the ball.

Time and time again, a Swans player would get the ball, and I’d think ‘were have the Power players gone?”

Swans players were running everywhere, and even the least insightful footy observer, of which I have claims, could see Port had done their dash last week.

Back in South Australia, the traditional ‘Sack Hinkley’ calls went up as another year slipped away.

To be fair, I’m not sure Ken’s ever had the best list in the competition in his tenure, so it’s often unfair that he gets accused of not delivering premierships.

John Longmire has been at the Swans for 14 seasons and has delivered only one, and he inherited a club in far better condition than Hinkley did. 

Chris Scott has delivered two in 14 years but again Geelong were in good shape when he joined.

That’s not to say Longmire and Scott aren’t excellent coaches, it’s just a lot harder than people think.

That said, it’s been a long time with Ken at the helm, and the temptation to swap the coach in the hope of getting someone who can go that extra step is tempting.

The problem is, what if the next coach is not that good? Sacking people is easy, getting the right person is a test few pass.

As for the Swans, they finished first, won both their finals, and are rewarded with a Grand Final on their home ground, the MCG. 

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Saturday

Geelong (85) v Brisbane (95)

The opening twenty minutes didn’t fill you with any sense a classic was coming, as both sides seemed more hesitant than when my uncle when he tried the new food ‘pizza’ a few years ago.

Once things got going however, there were more twists and turns than Lost, but the AFL scriptwriters were a lot better at working out the ending.

Brisbane lost Oscar McInerney early on after a dislocated shoulder, forcing Joe Daniher into the number-one ruck role.

It wasn’t the ideal situation for the Lions, but Daniher made it work, like the time I ran out of Grange but made do with a Domaine de Montille La Garenne.

Yet the Cats were getting ahead in the second quarter and opened up a 25-point lead by the third term.

Max Holmes was having a great game, and you just felt that as long as he stayed healthy the Cats would get across the line.

Gryan Miers also delivered some highlights, such as a soccer-like cross.

It shows that the internet predicts the future every time, proving the theory that if you put enough monkeys on typewriters, you’ll eventually get Shakespeare.

Brisbane though are proving to be a team that doesn’t mind a dramatic comeback.

They started to lift, finding plenty of run, leading to some of the best football this season from both sides.

Brisbane managed to get to the front, only for Ollie Henry to snap a stunning goal with two minutes and 45 seconds remaining.

It needed something special for the Lions to come back, and Cam Rayner had the answer, with a goal of his non-preferred foot from outside fifty.

Lions fans went nuts but you sensed it wasn’t over, and when Rhys Stanley got a free kick 15 minutes out, it looked like the Cats were back in business.

Unfortunately for Cats fans, when Stanley stood up, he walked like someone who had just been hit by a car.

It might have been better if he’d stayed down and someone else took the kick, because it clanged into the post.

To be fair to him, there were plenty of his teammates who hadn’t grasped their chances either.

Tyson Stengle played like he was a Lions sleeper agent, while other stars went missing at key points.

It means we can once again call the end of the Geelong era, which we always do each season and then they finish up the top again.

As for Brisbane, their fans can get excited, they are just one insanely stressful miracle comeback from being premiers.

NATIONAL TOUR 

I’m taking my show Sport: The Unauthorised History on tour.

Tickets are now on sale for the following shows.

Sat 16 Nov: The Leadbeater, Melbourne

https://theleadbeaterhotel.oztix.com.au/outlet/event/d7d3259b-2256-48b0-be2e-174d62dd917e

Wed 20 Nov: Rosemount, Perth- SOLD OUT! Second Show about to be announced.

Wed 27 Nov: The Triffid, Brisbane

https://moshtix.com.au/v2/event/titus-o-reily-sport-the-unauthorised-history/171148

Fri 29 Nov: The Comedy Store, Sydney

https://aucentury.sales.ticketsearch.com/sales/salesevent/138570

Sat 30 Nov: Fun Time Pony, Canberra – Only a handful of tickets left.

https://comedyact.com.au/event/titus-oreily-sport-the-unauthorised-history/

Come along, it would be great to see you.

You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. Find out more here: https://titusoreily.com/support-titus