Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Collingwood (83) v Essendon (60)

Any concerns that Essendon are getting an ongoing benefit from the supplements program should now be well and truly laid to rest.

The Bombers look like a team on downers not uppers.

Luckily, Essendon has a coach returning who has led them to 11th and 8th finishes, then disqualified from the finals all together last season.

As for Collingwood, the lid is off. Just watch Eddie's carefree approach to Sunday night TV.

Collingwood are so good, they even gave Essendon a full quarter head start before starting to play. Isn't it going to be fun interacting with Pies supporters all week?

St Kilda (79) v Brisbane (82)

Nothing like sending the AFL's two glamour sides to crack the lucrative New Zealand sporting market.

Brisbane got the kiwi fruits in this one, making it their first win of the season. You can just feel the momentum building at Brisbane.

Any more wins and they could be in real danger of losing the wooden spoon to Melbourne.

St Kilda's game plan of 'kick it to Nick Riewoldt' seems not to work every week.

Given Nick's age, perhaps St Kilda should consider bottoming out. That always works well in the AFL.

That said, both teams said playing in front of such a massive crowd of more than 13,000 people was daunting.

Fremantle (61) v North Melbourne (74)

Ross Lyon has lost it. You could tell when he started regularly smiling in interviews and seemed to be happy.

It makes me wonder, which team has Lyon already agreed to jump ship to next season?

The chance of being runners up this year is slowly slipping through Fremantle’s fingers. They will need a dramatic turnaround.

You know North are up and about when you actually meets someone who is keen to admit they are a North fan. This happened to me on the weekend. It was amazing. Like seeing a unicorn.

Majak Daw had only 7 possessions but he ‘straightened them up,’ which is what you say about forwards who don’t play well these days.

Even I won’t belittle this win by the Kangaroos. This was a big win.

Gold Coast (134) v Greater Western Sydney (94)

AFL executives were very excited about this game. The experiment of giving every good young player to two teams is working out really well.

Surprisingly, the team who was given all the players a year ahead of the other, is about a year ahead in its development.

It’s going to be incredibly exciting to watch these two teams play Grand Finals in the future. It should certainly fix all those complaints about fans not being able to get tickets.

Under the AFL’s own variable ticketing system, a Suns/Giants Grand Final would be categorised a ‘D’ game.

Carlton (92) v West Coast Eagles (89)

So, lightning can strike twice. That's two wins in a row for Carlton. We know they're now coming for 12th, possibly even as high as 11th.

Mick Malthouse’s much maligned game plan still has life in it after all. It can beat West Coast and the Bulldogs. Pretty impressive right?

As for the Eagles, this was a bit embarrassing. Letting Carlton comeback from 24 points down must make you really consider if AFL is the right sport for you.

Perhaps a code change for the entire organisation? They like basketball a lot in Perth don’t they?

Melbourne (38) v Sydney (69)

I watched this game and my eyes still hurt. Melbourne actually put in effort all game which I haven't seen before.

Jack Watts continued his amazing 'hovering' approach to football. He seems to enjoy the physical aspects of football as much as Mick Malthouse enjoys media conferences.

As for Sydney, they actually looked terrible. Only Adam Goodes taking a break from his Australian of the Year duties, to make a brief cameo provided a highlight.

Buddy Franklin spent most of the night trying to start fights or win a Logie and free kicks.

Not being able to take an overhead mark seems to be sub-optimal in a forward too.

Buddy's knee injury is a bit if a worry but luckily for the Swans they will only need to manage that for the next nine years.

Western Bulldogs (83) v Adelaide (92)

Adelaide are back! Especially, if you consider beating St Kilda, GWS and the Bulldogs being back.

The fact they got smashed by Geelong, Port Adelaide and Sydney, shouldn't get in the way of a good story.

The Bulldogs will rue this one. They led by 28 points in the second quarter.

Bulldogs supporters must be starting to wonder when a rebuild becomes a rebuild of a rebuild.

Richmond (52) v Hawthorn (118)

So where will Damien Hardwick be assistant coach next year?

The Tigers’ game plan of letting the opposition's star midfielder do whatever they want seems to not be working. Weird.

It also turns out that having only one person in your midfield (Trent Cotchin), try is a concern too.

The good news for Tigers fans is they face Geelong next week, who are coming off a loss. That should work out well.

Hawthorn showed again why they are certainties for the Premiership. Cyril Rioli’s 4 goal masterpiece was only marred by the fact it was against Richmond.

A lot of people are saying Rioli was reacting to Matthew Lloyd’s claim that Cyril was an underachiever.

That assumes Rioli pays attention to what Matthew Lloyd says. A pretty big assumption.

He’d be the first.

Port Adelaide (107) v Geelong (67)

When Ken Hinkley tells you to do something you do it. Earlier in the season he told David Koch to stop saying stupid things about Port in the media. Kochie stopped. This alone is a modern miracle.

Hinkley's only weakness is PowerPoint. It's why he took so long to land a senior coaching role.

The lesson from this? Never trust PowerPoint and people who are good at it.

Port are Premiership favourites. I've said it all year, except for the times I said Geelong and Hawthorn were favourites.

As for Geelong, this weekend just provides further evidence that the Scott brothers occasionally swap teams to keep life interesting.