The Western Bulldogs have announced that Luke Darcy will be on the panel to select a new coach. Here are the questions Luke plans to ask them.

• Are you good at coaching?

• How good?

• Are you as good as say, Alastair Clarkson or Ken Hinkley? It would be awesome if you were. Would save me a lot of embarrassment.

• Do you mind if I occasionally make special comments during the interview? They’ll mainly just be obvious points or repeating something you’ve already said.

• What do you think of a grown man who wears gloves on television even though he’s not at the snow or in space?

• Do you really, really like Tom Boyd?

• Hypothetical scenario: Tom Boyd wants to do something a certain way and you want to go about it in the total opposite way. How quickly do you give up on your way?

• I was thinking the other day that coaches go through a lot of stress and have very poor job security. Media personalities, like myself, have far less stress, longer careers and get paid a lot more. Guess there’s not really a question in that. Anyway, thoughts?

• Which other teams have overlooked you for you to be here today?

• Was my interview with Dean Robinson the best interview you’ve ever seen?

• Have you ever coached Ocean Grove to a Premiership?

• Say that again? Just kidding, people expect me to say that now. Actually, could you say that again? I wasn’t really listening.