No way! Just this week, Nathan van Berlo totally dissed me for how I left Adelaide.

Why are people still up in my grill about this? Most people who are born in Adelaide leave. I’m not even from there so why am I held to a higher standard?

Let me be clear, I love Adelaide.

You’ve got the Rundles Mall, Farmers Union Ice Tea and the F1 Grand Prix. It’s an awesome place.

Now at first I thought the anger came from me choosing Sydney over Adelaide but that’s like blaming someone for choosing something good over something less good. I admit this puzzled me.

But Nathan said it was because I didn’t handle my exit well. Well that is just unfair.

Nathan, you and I know I sent you a group text. By modern etiquette standards this is world’s best practice.

I mean people these days create Facebook events for funerals. It’s how Uncle Jack ended up missing my aunt’s funeral. He missed his own wife’s funeral, outrageous!

Turns out Facebook wasn’t the only reason he missed it: he was overseas with his mistress but that doesn’t make my point any less powerful.

People’s manners these days are terrible.

Are we going to keep blaming KT for the worldwide break down in social behaviour bought on by a seismic shift in information technology?

Do we really all want to pretend we’ve never used SMS to get out of a difficult situation? And I’m not asking the really old people who don’t know how to use SMS, like people over thirty.

SMS is perfect for getting out of a dinner you don’t want to go to, ending a long-term relationship or missing that kidney donation operation.

It’s also quick and easy.

Let’s look at the other options.

If I’d sent a personal handwritten note to every player on the Crows, society would have judge me, a 25 year-old man, as odd. You just don’t do that.

There are also 44 of them. It would have taken me months.

Email is quicker I guess but I type with one finger and I’ve always been paranoid about it getting hacked, like in that movie with that guy in it. You know, the one about the people and that stuff happened.

And ringing them? Who can be bothered these days? Especially if it’s bad news you’re conveying.

I bet none of you ring in sick if you can get away with it. Text it is, I bet.

Try ringing 44 different people to tell them bad news. It would have been like working in an outbound call centre.

Face-to-face? Are you serious? Have you tried organising a social gathering these days? People don’t RSVP and you’re left with too much food and a terrible event.

Because people don’t RSVP, you’re stuck holding it even though only six people show up. Then it’s your fault for having a terrible party.

If I’d called all the players together and told them I was leaving they would have said, ‘Couldn’t you have just texted us?’

You see? What was poor KT to do?

So I sent a text and my whole world has come crumbling down. Let he who has never texted cast the first stone, cruel world.

To SMS is human, get over it Nathan.